A Port in the Storm
by Hayden Lucas
Summary: The iCarly crew continues college life while facing a new spate of challenges on all fronts...
1. iAm A Morning Person

**iAm A Morning Person**

Melanie Puckett's first morning back home in Seattle was an uncharacteristically sunny one – even as early as it was. She was used to being up at the butt-crack of dawn. It was just part of her new _'normal'_.

She wandered downstairs partially dressed. It was exceptionally _un-Melanie_ of her. She was barefoot and her hair was a mess. She didn't care. She had slept _wonderfully_ last night. She had spent seven glorious hours spooning Freddie Benson. _God, had she missed him!_ He simply completed her in a way she couldn't begin to describe.

As soon as she entered the living room, Melanie felt… she wasn't appalled... she was shocked. Right there, right on the sofa, in a knot of naked limbs and hair, were Carly Shay and her own beautiful twin, Samantha. Melanie flushed. It wasn't that she was embarrassed by their sex life – that wasn't it at all. She wasn't – and could never be – embarrassed by them. She was embarrassed _for _them. Without so much as a word, Melanie gently and deftly reached for the blanket that was always thrown over the back of the sofa, tucking both girls in, obscuring their nudity. She loved them and they had a right to their love. They were grown, adult women. They were grown adults who loved each other as much as any two people could. Who was Melanie to judge them? She was simply the wandering minstrel.

Pulling the covers up to her sister's chin, she bent down and kissed her twin squarely on the forehead. With that, she plodded on into the kitchen. She was the only one up. It was her job to provide for the other three, whom she loved so completely.

Sam was not only her sister – but her twin to boot. Carly was… she was simply Carly Shay. She was Sam's reason for being, as far back as Melanie could remember. Then, of course, tucked away upstairs, amongst all her girliness, was her man – Freddie Benson. She loved him on par with her sister's love for sweet little Carly Shay.

Melanie was exhausted, of course, but she set to work in the kitchen as best she could. Her family depended on her. She loved them all. They had supported her when she had needed them, so breakfast was the very least that she could do. She had just begun to sing to herself, absentmindedly, when something broke her concentration. It was Sam's phone, now skittering silently along the kitchen counter. Recognizing the name on the Caller ID, Melanie answered it.

"Hello?"

The voice on the other end of the line was slow and loose. Even without the Caller ID, it could be only one person.

"_Sam?"_

Melanie exhaled a long, deliberate breath. She had been dreading this, avoiding this, but she'd suffer any indignity for her sister. She owed her that much.

"It's Melanie, Mother… Why are you calling?"

"_Where's your sister?"_

"She's asleep… Do you realize what time it is?"

"_Sleeping with that woman, no doubt… Why can't she just find a nice man?"_

Melanie was in an awful position. She loved her mother – she had to. It wasn't even so much that, as the fact that this mess of a woman had given both Melanie and her sister life.

"How much have you had to drink?" Melanie knew, instinctively, that the answer was '_Quite a lot'_.

"_Such a goddamn disappointment… Why she couldn't be more like you, I don't know. She hasn't… hasn't even tried to settle down with someone nice…"_

That tore it. Her mother or not, Pam Puckett was out of bounds.

"She _has_ settled down with someone…"

"_Not with a man…"_

Melanie was beyond furious.

"No, Mother… you didn't leave that many good men around for us to choose from! Get it through your head, will you? Sam's gay… That's just the way she was born!"

"_She hasn't tried to talk you out of men, has she?"_

"Mother! What in God's Name is wrong with you? Haven't you caused her enough pain for one lifetime?"

"_I hear so much out of the two of you about the First Amendment and what you're FREE TO DO, but nothing whatsoever about the First Commandment. What about honoring thy mother?"_

"I'm not having this discussion with you… You've hurt us both enough, and _BY THE WAY_, honoring thy parents is the _THIRD_ Commandment!"

"_Don't you take that tone with me, Missy… you spoiled, little rich bitch… you were still born in the back of a bus… If you're so goddamned smart, then what is the First Commandment, Little Girl?"_

Melanie was shaking. Why couldn't she have had a family like other people had? She loved her sister, but her mother left an awful lot to be desired. She didn't give a damn anymore. A choice between her sister and her mother was no choice whatsoever. Sam was more important by far. If there was one thing Melanie loved more than her family, it was the only thing that was more important. The only thing more important than her family and her music was the being responsible for bestowing those gifts upon her – Her God.

"I AM THE LORD THY GOD! THOU SHALT HAVE NO OTHER GOD BEFORE ME!"

Melanie was emotionally spent.

"Look, I love you because I have to, but Sam's been hurt enough. Don't you dare hurt her again, or else…"

Melanie clicked off the call. She took a series of deep breaths. She had no idea what she was supposed to do or feel, but she knew that she had done the right thing. She had done the only thing her heart would allow her to do – choose Sam over their mother.

She did the only thing that she could, under the circumstances. In times like this – when she was unraveling inside – it was all Melanie could do to keep herself together. She needed to sing. God had given her song for this very reason. It was what she knew.

* * *

"…_Morning has broken, like the first morning…"_

"…_Blackbird has spoken, like the first bird…"_

"…_Praise for the singing, praise for the morning…"_

"…_Praise for them springing fresh from the word…"_

* * *

It never ceased to amaze her just what music could do for her soul. She felt all the venom and the vitriol leave her. She reminded herself that her mother was, in fact, a very sick woman – not that it excused her misinformed worldview towards Sam. Yes, she and Sam had both been born in the back of a city bus, but that didn't mean that they were second class citizens. Yes, she and Sam were identical twins. That did not mean that what sent Melanie's heart aflutter did so for her sister. She knew it didn't. Samantha didn't _choose_ to love Carly Shay – her heart simply wanted what it wanted.

None of this mattered anymore, Melanie knew. It was getting light. She needed to occupy her idle hands. She had a family to feed.


	2. iStand My Ground

**iStand My Ground**

The following week was a rough one in the Shay-Puckett household. Sam loved her sister and had even taken to telling her so recently, but began to resent her ever so slightly for – in Sam's view – slacking off at home.

"Samantha! I love you, Baby, but please try to see it from Melanie's point of view… Honey, she's trying so hard… she's got a full slate of classes and she's basically working seventy hours a week on top of all that working on her music. It's not something she really has control over, Baby… She has a contract and, unfortunately it isn't really up to her…"

Sam squirmed. She knew Carly was right. She wasn't trying to pick on Melanie or mistreat her or anything even remotely like that. She had simply gotten used to having the extra pair of hands around the house. It wasn't even about the work. Sam was willing to put in the sweat equity. This wasn't about doing the work. This was about being only two-thirds complete. It wasn't just Sam and Carly anymore. It was about Sam, Carly and Mel.

"Cupcake… you know I don't mean… it's just…" Sam felt defeated. Carly knew exactly what Sam was trying to say.

"I know, Sweetheart… just try not to be so…prickly… around Melanie. She's under a lot of stress. It can't be easy for her, Hun…"

Carly leaned in and kissed her. All of the tension in Sam's shoulders slowly ebbed away. Carly knew this was rough. Melanie had been fighting her record label for days. She didn't want to seem ungrateful, but, given that she was still a college student – albeit a famous one – she argued that the combined responsibilities of education, family, and recording should dictate that her album be recorded in Seattle, rather than have Melanie miss a days' worth of classes a week and fly from Seattle to Los Angeles every Friday morning, returning every Sunday night.

Melanie knew that music was a business like any other, and like any business, it came down to being a matter of dollars and cents. Once Melanie was able to point out a substantial cost savings involved in her recording locally, production of her first album – as yet untitled – shifted from Los Angeles to the foggy streets of Seattle. Score one for Team Puckett.

"Cupcake?"

"Yes, my love?"

"How late's Mel going to be tonight?"

"Freddie's picking her up and then they're coming back here."

Leave it to her Cupcake to completely evade the question. Sam didn't care.

"Cupcake?"

"Yes , my darling…"

Carly giggled. It would occasionally happen like this. They'd go back and forth with their play-baby stuff, telling each other how much one loved the other. She loved it.

"Carls?"

"YES, Samantha Ann…"

"Can you believe that Melanie picked a fight with that record producer just so she could record here?"

Carly believed it. She and Mel had a heart-to-heart over it one night while Sam was in class. Melanie was prepared to break the contract over it. To her, it was a deal breaker. Family came before music, before success, before fame, before money, before any of it. The truth was that Melanie refused to be away from her little sister for any period of time longer than a few hours. Six months of no weekends with Sam was an absolute deal breaker, as far as Melanie was concerned. She'd sworn Carly to secrecy. She knew her sister's precious partner would never betray her confidence.

"I love you, Sam"

Carly's arm slipped from around Sam's shoulders further down her back. Sam felt warm and fuzzy. She'd grown to realize that Carly Shay would never harm her. She had even warmed to Carly touching her in the one place that had previously been off limits. Her scar was no longer a source of shame. Carly had helped her learn that the past was simply the past. The past was filled with ghosts who could no longer harm her in any way. "_The Dead stay dead",_ Carly told her. Sam actually welcomed Carly's touch now. It was part of the healing process.

They had begun truly opening up to one another of late. Sam had told Carly all about her mother's alcoholism – most of which Carly already knew, thanks to Melanie. Carly had painted a dark and foreboding picture of life as the Colonel's little girl, a life made all the more hellish once the passing of Carly's mother was factored into the equation. It was all okay.

When Carly spoke of _That Man_, she would wilt under the pressure of having been a soldier's little girl – the darkness hidden behind the uniform. It was still too much for her to bear, but she didn't need to do it alone anymore. Sam was perfectly comfortable and capable being Carly's _'big strong man'_, for want of a more apt description. Sam was more than willing to be strong enough for the both of them. She'd done it before, and would do it until the end of time, if that's what Carly Shay required.

"Mama…"

Carly turned to speak to Sam, only to have Sam cut her off. Her lips had smothered Carly's own. She needed Carly. She needed her more now than she had in the recent past. They'd gotten used to this, this symbiotic, manic need. They had no idea when it would strike them, but they both knew that it would. Recently, they'd been fortunate, in that it seemed to occur only when they were alone. Had it happened when Melanie or – _Dear God_ – Freddie were in the house, that would've been far too much to bear. They had to behave far too often – in class, out on the town, around campus. They had to be other people – separate but equal. It made them insane.

Carly could hear Sam's voice. It was throaty and rushed; her breath hot against her ear and neck.

"Do you trust me, Cupcake?"

Sam knew the answer. The question was a mere formality, designed solely to get Carly going. Before she could answer, Sam was on her feet and had swept Carly off of hers. They both knew that Freddie wouldn't be home with Melanie for several hours yet. This was a blessing. Carly needed time alone with her big, strong blonde. She needed to feel like a princess.

She could only smile as Sam crossed the threshold into their bedroom. It conjured images of all she would ever want in the entire world. She was safe and secure here. Sam deposited Carly onto her side of the bed. It was all over. Carly Shay's world went hazy.


	3. iSend Crossed Signals

**iSend Crossed Signals**

The next morning came all too quickly, though it was Saturday again – the only relief. Carly and Sam had been… _pre-occupied_… much of the previous evening. They hadn't even heard Freddie and Melanie come home sometime past ten thirty. Sam Puckett had begun to let down her defenses more and more of late.

The moment she wandered out from the bedroom, she knew that was a mistake. Melanie was sitting at the kitchen table, clad only in her bathrobe. She was red and shaking. She was absolutely livid and Sam knew it. What Melanie held in her hand barely qualified as clothing, as sheer as it was.

"Would you care to explain these? They were in the back pocket of your jeans."

Sam flushed and stammered.

"Well… I mean…. What do they look like? Looks like… you know… to me… you know… _ladies' unmentionables…_"

"Dammit, Sam! I know what they are… It's just… They're not mine, they _certainly_ don't belong to you, and I know they aren't Carly's, so what the hell is the deal?... Are you?..." she couldn't finish the thought. It was too repugnant, too offensive to her sensibilities. "Is there someone else? Goddammit, Sam, if there is… you _need_ to tell Carly. Don't you know how much she loves you? She really put herself out on a limb for you and this is how you repay her?"

Melanie was beside herself. Sam was her sister. Carly, as far as she was concerned, was her sister too. She wasn't about to choose one over the other. She felt like King Solomon. Like the king and prophet of the scriptures, she was faced with an impossible choice. It was an absolute Catch Twenty Two.

Melanie was right – from a certain point of view. There was someone else. Carly and Sam had their own _Don't Ask, Don't Tell_ policy. Melanie wouldn't ask and they wouldn't tell.

Sam looked to her sister. They both felt awful. They had bridged years of separation and mistrust in a matter of months and neither wanted that wound ripped open again.

Sam was about to speak when Carly stumbled into the room, still half asleep. She threw Sam into a reverse hug, tossing her arms lazily about the blonde's neck from behind. She leaned in for her Good Morning kiss. Melanie felt her stomach knot up – not because their affection made her uncomfortable – but because of the lie her sister seemed to be living so easily. She quickly shoved the garment into the pocket of her bathrobe. She couldn't hurt Carly with her sister's indiscretion.

"Mornin', Mama…"

Carly Shay pecked the younger of the two blondes on the cheek. Sam Puckett grabbed the brunette around her bare waist, just above the waistband of her 'borrowed' boxer shorts, pulling Carly onto her lap. Carly giggled. Sam laid the sweetness on thick, allowing Carly to read between the lines, but also to take a swipe at her well-meaning, if misguided sister.

"Good morning, my precious little Cupcake… I love you so much…"

Sam nuzzled close to Carly's ear. This wasn't what it appeared to Melanie. To the elder Puckett, it appeared to be a desperate attempt by a cheater to curry favor with the spouse she'd wronged. In reality, Sam was bringing Carly up to speed. They were formulating a plan. How could they diffuse the situation without Mythical Melanie completely losing it?

Their answer sauntered down the stairs in the sleepy, rumpled, decidedly male personage of Freddie Benson. He yawned, instinctively searching out his better half in the kitchen.

"Hey Gorgeous…"

"Morning, Babe…"

"What's going on in here?" Freddie was genuinely concerned. Melanie looked upset and Carly and Sam were a little too close for comfort, even for this hour of the morning.

Melanie looked terrified. She didn't want to say a word. She didn't want to hurt Sam, no matter what she may have done to Carly. She didn't have to. Sam took the bullet for her sister.

"Just a stupid little cat fight. We're okay now, _isn't that right, Mel_?"

Her intonation and look said it all. _'You're way off-base here, Princess. Let this die and we'll be cool, I promise you…'_. Melanie could certainly read between the lines. She raised the white flag of surrender for only her sister to see.

"Sam's right. It was just a stupid little girl fight. I've just been under so much stress lately, between class and being in the studio, I guess I just overreacted to something Sam said, when it was really nothing. I'm sorry… Sam… Carly… I didn't mean to ruin your morning."

It was a Puckett family trait. Both girls were more than willing to fall on their swords for each other. It was just part of being who they were.

Freddie shot Melanie a quizzical look. He knew Mel'd been burning the proverbial candle at both ends, trying to meet somewhere in the middle, but he didn't believe her. Melanie didn't care. She would stick to her story so long as anyone else was in the room. She wanted the truth from Sam, but she knew, intuitively, that today would not be the day. For Melanie Puckett, her younger sister had always been a bit of light reading. She could always see through the veneer that Sam presented to the world. She knew Sam inside and out. Sam's body language told her that something wasn't quite right here, but Melanie had no idea exactly what. She and Sam would discuss this in time, she knew. She felt that her sister owed her some answers. She only prayed that Sam hadn't hurt Carly. That was too awful a scenario for Melanie to even contemplate. She wanted to do so many bad things right now – she wanted to cry, scream, and throw up, all simultaneously. She adored both of her beautiful sisters, and the thought that one of them may have been wounded so egregiously by the other was almost too much to bear. She wanted to cry out from the very depths of her soul. She had found the first loose thread that threatened, ultimately, to unravel her beautiful family.

Sam moved, forcing Carly to sit up. She knew what needed to be done, and it couldn't be done with a one hundred pound Cupcake firmly in her lap. She walked over to Melanie's chair, angling her body between the future Mister and Missus Benson.

"Truce?"

She knew Mel didn't have it in her to fight.

"Truce…"

The Puckett twins buried their disagreement with a hug, as had become their new custom. Sam had planned it this way. Melanie wanted, to her detriment, to see the best in people always. Melanie had forgotten that her bad-girl little sister was, among other things, an expert pickpocket. She had witnesses all around and no one had seen a thing.

She deftly slid the purloined merchandise into the pocket of her oversized PJ pants. She would return them to their proper owner later.

Melanie was right on one point – one single point out of her entire winding diatribe. The sheer raspberry colored piece of clothing _did_ belong to someone other than Sam Puckett's precious Cupcake. Sam wasn't about to tell her sister that that someone was Melanie Higgles, Space Cheerleader. That was information that was on a need-to-know basis, and Melanie Puckett – regardless of the fact that her heart was in the right place – didn't need to know.


	4. iCome To Dinner

**iCome to Dinner**

Melanie Puckett was shaking like a leaf. She was about to do the most utterly terrifying thing in her life. Singing on national television – baring her soul to three hundred million people was a walk in the park compared to what she was about to do this evening. Three hundred million was easy. One woman had Melanie absolutely terrified. Tonight, Melanie Elizabeth Puckett would be joining her boyfriend and his mother for a family dinner.

She was now Manic Mythical Melanie. Her sister certainly hadn't helped.

"But what if she doesn't like me?" Melanie was serious as a heart attack.

"Mel… you're being ridiculous… She barely knows you. She'll love you… How could she not? I certainly do…"

Freddie Benson was such a sweetheart. She knew the he was all she would ever need. She loved him more than words. He invited her to family dinner back at Bushwell for a number of reasons, but, in honesty, every one of his reasons boiled down to one simple fact: Freddie Benson loved her. She was the air he needed to breathe. They'd been apart for far too long. He hadn't intended for them to become as intimate as they'd become as quickly as they had. Not only did he love her, but he respected her – her virtue and her honor – but he knew almost instantaneously that there could be only one – and it was her.

"Honey, you're being ridic—…"

His words died as her mouth met his. They'd been doing this quite a lot lately. They'd been getting quite domestic, much to Carly's amusement and Sam's frustration. Freddie went to school a half-hour away in good traffic, but he didn't give a damn. He couldn't have possibly cared less. Certain classes got blown off if the trade-off was an extra late morning with Mel, the ability to share breakfast together, like grown people… who were occasionally accosted by a half naked she-demon with a love of all things pork.

Freddie, as much as he loved her, was thankful he could breathe once again.

"Honey, you're overreacting. She will love you, I promise…"

She still didn't believe him – not completely – but she knew she needed to trust him. It was absolutely imperative that Marissa Benson love her. For Melanie, it was a pathological need, fueled by years of Pam Puckett's own abject failure as a parent. Carly's mother had gone on and had again become one with all that was years ago. That left Marissa Benson, the woman who, with any luck, would become Melanie Puckett's mother-in-law.

"She's a bit of a crazy mess of a woman, no offense, babe…"

There certainly would be none taken.

"You think you're telling me something I don't already know?"

He smiled at her. She knew he had an ulterior motive when she got this look. She knew he was mentally undressing her again – not that he needed any help. He'd seen her in various stages of undress in the recent past. She knew that he was visualizing her in the leather pants she'd taken to wearing of late, whenever she spent an evening in the studio.

"I know what you're doing, Freddie Benson, and you can stop it right now, Mister…"

She chuckled. He flushed. This is what she got for leaning against the kitchen counter for too long. Reaching for the sticky notepad that was forever floating around the kitchen, she wrote a quick note, sticking it on the counter, in plain view.

_**

* * *

**_

**_Dinner with Freddie. XOXO Mel_**

* * *

"You ready, Babe?" He took her hand. She was as ready as she'd ever be. She just prayed that Carly and Sam would see the note when they arrived home from their own little dinner date. There wasn't time to worry about that now. They were going to be late if they didn't leave now.

_**TWENTY MINUTES LATER, BUSHWELL PLAZA…**_

Freddie and Melanie had just arrived at his childhood home, now home to Marissa Benson alone. Freddie was completely prepared to walk right into 8-D, as though he still lived there.

Melanie wasn't having it. She felt electrified. She felt… all… _twitchy_. Before he could open the door and walk in, hand in hand with Melanie, Freddie Benson was overpowered. Melanie had clearly lost her mind. She'd advanced on him – the way she had, until now, done only in private – pinning his back to the door of the apartment. She kissed him as fully and completely as she had the night before. She really, honestly wasn't _this type of girl_. She was a proper young lady. She knew the rules of etiquette and decorum. She knew that proper young ladies didn't behave like this. They simply didn't just melt like warm chocolate chip cookies and go all gooey over a man. Not in public. This wasn't appropriate, ladylike behavior – but she didn't care. They'd lost months together, only able to say their '_Good Nights_' and their _'I love yous'_ to a telephone. It was a necessary evil, but it broke her heart. He was here now, in the flesh, and she couldn't help herself. Melanie Puckett, like her mother, was an addict. Freddie Benson was her drug of choice. She didn't simply want to have him – she _needed_ to have him.

She kissed him deeply, breaking their kiss only to whisper her love for him into his ear in a heated rush.

"I love you… I love you… I love you… I love you… I love you…"

The next thing Melanie remembered was falling backwards – and the screaming.

Marissa Benson had opened the door. The couple was sent reeling, falling together into the negative space where the door had been, but, remarkably, kept their footing.

"FREDDIE! OHMYGO—… YOU! YOU'RE THE REASON THAT CARLY SHAY WILL NEVER LOVE MY SON! BUT… AREN'T YOU…"

Before things could get any _more_ awkward, Freddie was able to extricate his tongue from Melanie's mouth long enough to speak.

"MOM! REMEMBER? MELANIE? GIRLFRIEND? TWINS?"

It took a brief moment for the fog to lift. Marissa Benson was – instantly – the gracious hostess, playing the incident off as though nothing had happened. Melanie was convinced that her future mother-in-law had to be perhaps _just a little bit_ bipolar. Her next words were to Melanie. She was incredibly – if not overly – sweet. She was clearly trying too hard.

"Oh, Yes, of course… How are you, Melanie, Dear?" Mrs. Benson was incredibly sweet. She struck the blonde as perhaps _too_ sweet. Melanie wondered what the woman's ulterior motive was. It was time to smile demurely and be the proper little lady again.

"I'm just fine, thank you, ma'am. If I may, I'm very sorry about my behavior… I shouldn't have… I'm a guest in your home… I'm sorry…" Melanie hung her head slightly, weakly extending her hand – that proper handshake women only used when greeting other women.

Sam had taught her well. Melanie wasn't sorry in the slightest. She was head-over-spiked-heels in love with Freddie and – like Carly and Sam – owed no one on the planet an apology for her love. She simply told Mrs. Benson what she wanted to hear and what she expected to see. She needed to win this woman over. She needed to see that Freddie wasn't just her little boy anymore. Freddie was Melanie's man and, more than that, he was all Melanie would ever need. He comforted her in ways that she could never describe. He was her warm blanket. He covered her on those cold nights, kept her safe and grounded. He was what her own twin had become to Carly Shay – her knight in shining armor, her protector.

_**TWO HOURS LATER …**_

Freddie Benson had no idea what the Hell on Earth had just happened. His mother had started the evening cursing at Melanie and now they were acting like best girl-friends. He gently pulled Melanie aside and whispered to her.

"What _the hell_ is going on?"

She whispered back into his ear.

"You catch more flies with honey, Baby Doll…"

He flushed. She had never called him that in public before.

"Mom, I think we're going to get going… I love you."

Marissa Benson drew her only child into a crushing hug. Freddie figured it was better than a tick bath.

Letting him go, she pulled his pretty blonde girlfriend to her. She'd never had a daughter. She kissed Melanie on the cheek. Melanie was stunned. Freddie thought he would have a stroke.

"Honey, I'm sorry for overreacting, really… If you ever need anything, just know I'm here for you…"

The couple said their goodbyes and, as politely as was possible, rushed out of the apartment.

_**BACK ON CAMPUS…**_

It had been another of _those evenings_ for Carly and Sam. She was beginning to think that Sam had put something in the water. At various points this past week, Carly found herself powerless against Sam's advances. It seemed that the slightest provocation would set either of them off.

Carly heard the front door creak open, too into Sam to care. Melanie had apparently been drinking – at least the same tainted water Carly had this past week. She was all over Freddie. She finally bade him good night and walked in the house.

Melanie Puckett loved both of her sisters and saw nothing wrong or uncomfortable in their affections. It was simply too late at night and she'd had a rough enough evening where she simply couldn't handle being confronted with Girly Love the moment she walked in the door. Sam, finally free of the assaults of Carly Shay, shot her sister a look. Melanie looked a troubled hot mess.

"What the hell happened?"

Sam was clearly worried, and ready to finish the job with Freddie Benson, if he'd, as she suspected, been stupid enough to hurt Mel.

Melanie was still in a bit of a haze.

"Freddie's mother… she… she thought I was you… hugged… kissed me… Oh God…"

The color drained from Sam's face.

"I love you both, but seriously… Can't you guys get a room? Do you think I want to walk into the house to find you two joined at the face?"

This was the kind of comment that would normally send Sam into a blind rage. She loved her Cupcake and would never apologize for it – not to anyone. Melanie, however, was a special case. Melanie had an eternal _Get Out of Jail Free _card. Sam was instantly a whiny, spoiled child again. This is just how she and Melanie were. They fought, but it was play-fighting. They would never hurt one another again.

"Got a room... This one... Oh, and Hey, don't knock it 'til you've tried it, Baby Cakes…"

Melanie chuckled.

"Have fun, Girls… I'm going to bed. Love you…"

She was exhausted. She had to study, write, and record tomorrow. She needed to sleep.

Leaving her sisters to their own devices, Melanie shuffled to the stairs. She climbed them slowly and deliberately. Her bed, though empty, was calling her.


	5. iRoleplay

**iRoleplay**

The next day had flown by. As much as she needed the rest, Melanie had eschewed sleep and pulled an all-nighter. She had written a paper for her Psych class, turned out three fresh sets of lyrics, drawn, and dozed off briefly before showering and heading out the door. She had tracks to lay down and at her insistence, her label had conceded, allowing her to work around her school schedule. She loved the feeling of being the first one into the studio. Unlike her sister, who would sleep until two in the afternoon if you let her, Melanie got jazzed up by being in the booth by six A. M. . This was her new _'normal'_. This was life as she'd know it – at least for the next three years. She was devoted to this. This is what she'd always wanted, but she also knew she was a complete contradiction in terms. She wished she could be so much more like Sam. Sam had everything together. She knew her sister's life with Carly would, thanks to people's own petty ignorance, be so much more needlessly difficult than her own privileged existence. Her heart hurt for that. She would trade places with Sam in a heartbeat. Sam had one thing that Melanie desperately wanted and needed.

In the booth, headphones on, Melanie Puckett went through her ritual. To anyone else in the room, it probably looked somewhat sexual, for whatever reason. For Melanie, it was just a compulsion. It was just what she did. The pad of her thumb slowly made its way down her chest, as though she were crossing herself entering church. It was nothing sexual at all. She simply needed to verify, to her own satisfaction, that her heart was, in fact, still beating. This was her way of keeping the covenant with the One who made all of this possible – the One who had formed her and Sam as perfect mirror images, yet so very different and placed them together. The One who had given them Carly Shay and Freddie Benson. She was keeping the Seal of the Prophets as best she knew how. She could speak multiple languages. She had studied every major tradition on the planet and would routinely give thanks to her God in any number of ways, all to acknowledge that she was grateful for what the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful had given her. He had given her song, Sam, Carly, and Freddie. Her heart was full. She repeated the words in her head, lest they be recorded if she spoke them aloud.

"_There is no God but God…"_

She knew that it wasn't considered _'normal_' for a woman her age to wear her heart on her sleeve this way. She wasn't _'supposed'_ to acknowledge God's greatness in her every waking moment, but, when you were Pam Puckett's daughter and had seen the things Melanie had seen – with her sister by her side – it was hard not to. She buried it all inside again. It was time to get to work.

_**HOURS LATER…**_

By the time Melanie Puckett returned home, it was already early evening. She walked through the door and knew instantly that she was home. The aroma was intoxicating, but, again, a total contradiction. She was immediately struck by the spice and tang of spaghetti, plus the unmistakable sweetness that was chocolate chip walnut cookies. Carly Shay had been one busy little queen bee.

In a half-exhausted daze, she turned her head immediately to the left, in the direction of the kitchen. She needed to thank her amazing brunette housemate.

"Carls… dinner smells glorious… you're the be...—" Her voice faded. Something was incredibly wrong. She did a double-take. She had gone down the rabbit hole and into the Twilight Zone. She could swear Sam – not Carly – was in the kitchen. _Wearing an apron_. She was completely confused. She immediately channeled her love.

"_¿__Como?"_

Carly Shay, clad only in a t-shirt and sweatpants, chuckled from the sofa.

Melanie turned to Carly and smirked.

"I'm guessing there's a story here?"

Sam shouted from the kitchen.

"Carls is trying to torture me! Didn't you promise to love, honor, and cherish me, Cupcake?"

Melanie chuckled. She adored both of her sisters. She certainly regarded them as a married couple, even though the State of Washington had nothing on paper.

"I do love, honor, and cherish you, Samantha… but you need to meet me halfway sometimes, Babe…"

Melanie felt like a ping-pong ball. She felt like she was bouncing back and forth between the two women she would always love.

Carly spoke to Melanie in a calm, even tone.

"Have a good day in the studio?"

"Yeah… it was alright. Had a little lunch… did a little shopping… All in all, a good day. What went on here while I was gone?"

"Cruel and unusual punishment!" Sam shouted from the kitchen. Melanie's eyes were locked on her sister's partner.

"How _do_ you do it? How does she _not_ make you absolutely bananas?"

Carly chuckled. Sam continued ranting.

"I heard that, Princess! She… she… GAH! It was horrible!"

Melanie knew.

"You took away her boxer shorts, didn't you?"

A sick smile crossed her face. Carly Shay had become a bobble head. She was so very proud of herself.

_**AFTER DINNER…**_

"Sam, I knew you could cook, but I had no idea you were – that was _amazing_!" Melanie had to compliment her sister. It truly _was _amazing.

Carly smiled. Sam blushed, yet tried to hide it. She loved them both, but she wasn't comfortable being… this way. She had cultivated her look over years of effort, and it suited her quite well. She was comfortable in her jeans, her boxers, and her oversized hoodies. They suited her. Carls understood that. Melanie understood it better than most. For Carly to insist on sissying her up like this was awful, but on the other hand, as uncomfortable as this was in the near term, it wasn't completely horrible.

Melanie laughed. She loved her sisters. Whatever this little thing was that had turned their world inside out, it was good for them. Sam needed to see things from the other side for a change. Carly needed to feel what it was like to be Sam for a day. Melanie envied her. She wanted to feel what it was that Carly was feeling. She stretched out, cat-like, and let out a weak yawn. It had been a long, long day. She knew she could finally get some rest. Her last memory that night was Carly leaning in close to her sister. She was going to kiss her again, no doubt.

Melanie had seen things correctly, but her perception was a hundred and eighty degrees off. She had seen what she'd seen, but Carly wasn't going to give Sam the satisfaction of an intimate moment – not yet. Instead, the Cupcake was content being the cold, calculating one for just a few moments longer. She leaned in and, as she had so many times before, whispered hot and throatily into Sam's ear, completely titillating her. The sensation was amazing. Sam kept complaining.

"But Carls… I don't wanna!"

She sounded like a goddamned five year old.

"Oh yes, you do… Admit it, my little daffodil… you _love_ it, _don't you_?"

She shook her head vehemently. The answer was No.

Carly knew she'd won. She would have her answer, come Hell or high water. She prodded.

"_Samantha…._"

Sam paused and reconsidered.

"…_Yes_…"

"Yes what, my love?"

"Yes _maam_…."

Carly smirked and felt the heat rise in her face. She loved this game.


	6. iSit Down

**iSit Down**

The next week flew by. It was nothing but more of the same. Double S, Double D. It was at Sam's urging that Melanie even _had_ a weekend off. Melanie had demonstrated her Puckett side, so much so that Carly needed to intervene. Everyone knew that the twins loved each other – they weren't enemies anymore – but just the same, Melanie felt that her sister was taking liberties with her career.

"Sam, I really can't afford to take a day off! I've got songs to record, mixing to do… It's really a fulltime job…"

Sam Puckett wasn't having it – not for one second.

"Mel, you can take a day off! Even God took a day off!"

This was true.

"…_And on the Seventh Day, the Lord God saw all that He had made and it was Good…"_

Sam knew that to convince her sister of anything – to win any argument – all she needed was to find a basis in scripture. She clung to the last vestige of goodness from their childhood with both fists. It wasn't that Sam did not believe, but Melanie _truly_ believed.

"Okay, okay, okay… you've made your point… and just what should I be doing if I'm not going to work?"

Sam let out an exasperated sigh. Sometimes her sister – her beacon of the goodness of humanity aside from her precious Cupcake – could be more hardheaded than their mother.

"I don't know! Go out! Have fun! Look… just go out with Carls and do some shopping… have some lunch… make a day of it… you deserve to unwind. Here…"

Sam dug in the pocket of her jeans. She withdrew her hand, pulling with it a handful of bills. It was hard for her to cobble together a hundred and fifty bucks, but she wanted her sister to have it.

Melanie shoved her sister's hand away. She couldn't take it.

"Sam, I can't…"

Sam was insistent.

"Come on, Mel… You and Carls go… do something stupid and girly… get your nails done or something…"

Melanie got the distinct impression that her sister was trying to get rid of them. Carly Shay didn't seem to be bothered by it in the slightest. She reached up and grabbed the money out of Sam's hand, grinning.

"Don't mind if we do… Love you, Mama!"

Carly leaned forward and planted a big, somewhat overly aggressive kiss on Sam. Melanie was bored. This was old news. She had to harass them. It just seemed appropriate.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah… we know… you're both crazy stupid for each other… some of us have known that since you were eight years old…"

Breaking from Carly, Sam dealt with Melanie the way she had since they were tiny children. She simply stuck her tongue out. The sisters were both toddlers again. Melanie was the one person on the planet, save Carly, that Sam would never lay a finger on. Melanie and Carly were the only people on the planet who exerted any control over the Amazon princess that was Sam Puckett.

In under a minute, it was all over. Everything was back to normal. The girls were grown and they could deal with one another on adult terms again. Carly was pulling Melanie toward the front door, anxious to spend Mama's money before she could change her mind. Melanie called to Sam from the doorway.

"Love you, Sis… really… We'll be back in time for dinner, so have something amazing waiting for us!"

Sam rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, yeah… just bring my Cupcake back!"

Sam watched the door shut. The finality of the _thud_ didn't hurt anymore. She'd gotten over that insane initial jealousy she felt last year, on the eve of her and Carly's first date. She realized that Melanie was just as much a fish out of water as she was. She only hoped that Carly remembered that they were twins. Nothing would be more embarrassing than a momentary lapse in judgment where Carly Shay inadvertently put the moves on her twin sister.

She pulled her phone from her pants pocket. She'd have hours now. She knew she'd need every minute. She began texting.

_**

* * *

**_

NEW MESSAGE

_**TO: Fredbag**_

_**Sent: 10:40 AM, PST**_

_Get over here. We need to talk. – Sam_

* * *

That should suffice. She needed to talk to the Nub, and she didn't want to beat around the bush any damn longer.

Freddie was at the front door at eleven sharp. He walked into the house gingerly, as though he was afraid one misstep might cause the floor to give way beneath his feet. His palms began to sweat. He saw Sam sitting there at the kitchen table, waiting for him. This scared him. It was just the two of them. There were no other sounds in the entire house. He had seen a scary movie like this once. It didn't end quite so well. Reaching the table, he sat, directly across from Sam. He did everything he could to hide the fact that his hand was shaking. Epic Fail.

Freddie exhaled deeply. This had all the makings of a classic mob sit-down. Those usually didn't end well for the guest of honor, either.

"Sam, would you mind telling me what the deuce is going on? Cryptic text messages and empty houses don't really inspire a whole lot of confidence."

Sam muttered something in Italian. Freddie squirmed.

"Relax, I'm not going to hurt you."

"Sam… really, what gives?"

Sam explained how she had gotten Carly and Melanie out of the house this morning. She finally explained why.

"Look, we needed to sit down, in private, and clear the air. I needed to talk to you, you know, Man to Nub…"

Sam had just referred to herself in the masculine.

"Look, Freddie, this is serious. I wouldn't have called you halfway across town just to yank your chain. We need to discuss some serious chizz…"

"Okay…"

It was beginning to sink in that Sam meant what she said. She had done some truly awful stuff to him before, but they were kids then. They were grown-up people with grown-up lives now.

"It's about Mel… Look, I know you care about her. I just really… I need to know if you're serious… if this thing you two've got is really real…"

Freddie flushed.

"It is. I love her, Sam. I love her… you know how you get when Carly walks into the room? That's what this is… When I'm with her, it's like… like the world slows down and it's just the two of us, that nothing can possibly touch us because of well… you know…"

It was true, Sam did know. It took her a moment to work up the courage to speak. There wouldn't be any sarcasm or put-downs, not even the slightest little dig. Sam Puckett needed to speak from the heart.

"This is… you know… hard for me. I don't do this well or often, so just, please, hear me out."

He nodded. He would.

"I'm so sorry for all of the awful crap I put you through when we were kids. I think you understand why now, though…"

Sam cut herself off. She couldn't finish the sentence. She didn't want to. Doing so would injure both her and Freddie. For the first time in her life, Sam Puckett showed some legitimate compassion for him. He shot her a confused look. The next words out of her mouth shocked them both.

"Freddie, look…" She swallowed hard. This _would_ be difficult. "…I…I… I lo – lo – I love you."

He was going to stroke out. He _couldn't_ have heard that. She _didn't_ say that.

"¿Como? La Diablo Femenina!"

She had and she did.

"Fredward… If you… if you want to be with Melanie, you _do_ get that this is a package deal, right? Two for one? You take Mel and I'm part of the package… You know that, right?"

He smirked. He knew that all too well. He would never tell Sam outright, but he and Melanie had discussed this very point several times. She couldn't bear to be without Sam any longer. They'd lost too much time. Freddie completely understood. He could only imagine what the pain of being separated from a sibling was like, let alone an _identical twin_. Whatever made his precious Melanie happy is what Freddie Benson would devote his life to. Freddie nodded. He needed Sam to understand without going into detail.

The nod was all she needed. She grasped his face in both her hands, much like she had done with Carly a time or two, and kissed him. She'd sworn she'd never do it again, but this time she had a purpose. She kissed one cheek, then the other, before finally kissing him fully on the lips. Freddie Benson was petrified.

"I… I… You _SWORE_ we'd never do that again!"

Italian.

"Welcome to _mi familia_, Fredbag… Now, are we perfectly clear? You are never to harm a hair on her head and I will never, ever reveal we had this little talk."

Still shaking, Freddie nodded weakly. It was familiar and foreign all at once. He was not quite sure what had just happened. He was either a made guy or he was back to being Sam and Carly's beard. Either way, he knew that he was untouchable. He finally knew that all was right in the world. This was how things would always be, from this day forward.


	7. iDouble Date, Redux

**iDouble Date, Redux**

Sam hadn't enjoyed male company this much in ages. It, obviously, had a lot to do with the fact that it was Fredduccini. She regretted keeping those walls up between them all these years. At the time, she thought it was necessary. She realized now that it had never been. At the time, she had seen him as a threat. Sixteen year old Sam had seen him as a threat to her happiness, and threats needed to be neutralized. He was a boy, and boys could take her Cupcake away. Boys could offer the Cupcake things that Sam couldn't…

"Sam? Where's the Oregano?"

Sam awoke from her little daydream to find Freddie Benson rooting around in her spice rack. That just tore it.

"Look, just because you're family now doesn't give you the right to violate my sister _and_ my spice rack… Out!"

He knew Sam was playing. This was probably the first time they'd truly been alone together since the debacle that had been their first kiss. He had to love her. She was identical to his love. That part was weird to him. He knew they weren't _completely_ identical, but it still gave him pause. He didn't hold anything from their childhood over her. It was all predicated on a perceived threat to her love for Carly. That much had become abundantly clear. He chuckled to himself and made his way to the living room sofa. If she didn't want his help, he could surely find something on the Science Channel that would be intellectually stimulating.

Sam was the consummate chef. Carly only cooked because she seemed to enjoy it and Sam certainly enjoyed watching her wiggle her little backside back and forth in the kitchen every night. It was a nice added bonus.

Dinner tonight would be a giant affair. Since Freddie was here, Sam had decided that it was about time to atone for the double date she felt she'd ruined the year before. If Freddie was going to be here, why not do her good deed for the year, put out a great big spread, and spend the evening together – the four of them – even if Frednub would end up seeing her sister's naughty places by the end of it? She turned her attention back to jazzing up last night's spaghetti. She was going to add onion, at least three kinds of peppers, and cheese plus a new batch of meatballs. That should about do it. Then it was on to two pounds of baked macaroni and cheese. It was her ultimate homemade comfort food. If there was a recipe, she could cook it. If there wasn't a recipe, she could make it up on the fly. This, however, didn't even need a recipe. She'd made it the same way so many times that a recipe didn't even need to exist. She'd first made it for Melanie years ago, when she was home sick. Pam was… well… _out_, so it fell to Sam to be her sister's nurse. It wasn't normal, but the Puckett sisters thrived on abnormal. Abnormal _was_ their normal.

Sam smiled to herself as she glanced into the living room. Freddie had kicked off his shoes and was now sprawled out across their sofa. She was strangely happy. It was as though the final missing piece to the puzzle that was Sam Puckett had finally fallen into place. It was now only a matter of time until her two little lost sheep found their way back home.

_**AN HOUR LATER…**_

Sam heard the front door creak open. Sam had made sure to adjust the '_mood lighting_' appropriately. As she walked through the door, Melanie was too dialed in to the delicious aroma coming from the kitchen to focus – until she heard his voice.

"Hey there, Gorgeous…"

Melanie squealed like a little girl, dropped her bags and ran to him. It was Cuddle Time. Carly Shay simply rolled her eyes and continued on into the kitchen. She leaned in and gave Sam a subdued peck on the cheek. She tasted tomato sauce. Her tone was quiet and even, matter-of-fact.

"Hey, Honey… How was your day?... and what's – …"

She was immediately quiet. She took the tip of Sam's now-extended index finger into her mouth. Fresh tomato sauce. It was delicious.

"Mmmm…. Spicy. Carly likey."

Sam dotted the tip of Carly's nose with tomato sauce. She smiled.

"Okay, Cupcake… Go be a good little social butterfly while Mama finishes dinner."

Carly giggled. She loved when Sam was like this. She was her one and only love, but she constantly treated Carly as though she were still a little girl. She most certainly didn't mind. It was simply Sam's way. She stole one more smooch from her lady before interrupting Happy Time on her living room sofa.

_**AFTER DINNER…**_

Sam had put on a fabulous spread. None of the four of them could eat another bite if they tried. It was a peaceful evening, save for the fact that Freddie was a little bit too close to Mel for Sam's liking. She knew what she had to do. She reached for a meatball out of the bowl. Like any good Italian, she believed in keeping her meatballs separate from her sauce. She grabbed one and pitched it at Freddie. It hit him square in the forehead. He was momentarily stunned. Everyone at the table laughed – except Melanie.

"Sam!"

Sam could do nothing more than shrug her shoulders.

"Sorry, Sis… Force of habit. He was invading your Personal Space bubble… You know how I don't like that."

"Frankly, _Samantha_, he can invade my personal space as much as he likes…"

Sam shot the Nub a look. He immediately shushed Melanie.

"Honey, she's not serious. She was just playing around…"

He brushed a strand of blonde hair from her face. He loved her more than words. She looked back at him with those weak, shimmering little girl baby blue eyes. She turned to her sister.

"Is that true, Sam?"

"Come on, Princess… How well do you know me? Fact is I kinda like the kid. Kinda grows on you after, you know, a dozen years or so…"

Carly glanced at Melanie, as though to psychically confirm her partner's account. Melanie had no reason not to trust Carly Shay implicitly. The fact that she was Sam's wife was immaterial. She was incapable of lying. Mel was hurt.

"Sam… I'm sorry."

Sam just rolled her eyes.

"Come on, Kid… It's no big thing. It's just how I roll."

The quartet all laughed. Melanie tried to speak, only to have her sister jump in and cut her off.

"Okay, Children, I could be wrong, but isn't it past your bedtime?"

Melanie was shocked. If it were up to Sam, she'd be wearing a chastity belt. It wasn't that she was promiscuous, it was just that Sam could never reconcile in her own mind that her sweet angel, goody-goody sister got all hot and bothered over Freddie Benson. Melanie knew Sam inside-out, forward and back. There was some devious Sam Puckett ulterior motive here.

There was. Sam's motivation was Melanie's happiness.

Before his lady could open up a can of worms that would take the rest of the weekend to shut, he gave her hand a squeeze, signaling retreat was the better option. She melted like warm butter and allowed herself to be led away. He bade the ladies – Sam included – Good Night and withdrew, Mythical Melanie in tow, from the kitchen. Lost in their own little world, they quietly ascended the stairs.

Once Freddie and Melanie were safely out of earshot, Carly Shay turned to her lover. She knew Sam far too well.

"You two had the little talk, didn't you?"

Sam leaned forward and kissed Carly flush on the forehead. Their little family was complete.


	8. iGreet The Day

**iGreet The Day**

Melanie Puckett's eyes fluttered in the early morning Seattle sunshine, still weary and sticky with sleep. Her head fit the contours of Freddie Benson's naked chest perfectly. Last night wasn't boring by any means, though certainly not as entertaining in reality as it was in the dark recesses of her sister's imagination. Melanie knew exactly how far she was willing to take things with Freddie until _That Day._ Until the day that she was Missus Melanie Benson, certain things were simply understood to be off-limits. Certain things could be indulged up to a point, and other certain things were given free reign. She was a woman who knew what she wanted, and what she wanted was her little tech man-boy to hold her in his arms forever. This was completely where she belonged. She knew that further sleep this morning was futile, but she'd make the attempt anyway. She craned her head down and kissed his bare chest, where all of his right pieces came together, where his collarbone gave way to the muscle and soft skin of his chest – where, until recently, her face had been nuzzled. She kissed him once, twice, three times. She wanted it always to be this way.

They fit together perfectly in their near-nakedness. Melanie rolled on a silk-covered hip to fill in the negative space left by her man's own body. Even through two layers of fabric, she was excited wiggling her body into the minute space between them. She needed to be as close as humanly possible to him.

She whispered breathlessly into his ear.

"Good morning, sweet prince… I love you…"

Freddie was clearly still very much asleep. He mumbled at her.

_"¿Qué?"_

She loved him. She found her bilingual tech boy to be more and more precious each and every day. It had been nothing short of murder to say '_Good Night' _to him over the phone all those nights in California. She needed him, but she knew he would never have allowed her to come home and give up a chance to live her dream all on his account. He would've never forgiven himself.

She gave into temptation. She needed to play with him. She was a bad, bad girl.

"Fredward Benson, You're under arrest… on suspicion of selling guns to the rebels…"

He was now much wider awake.

_"¿Qué?"_

She wasted no time in mercilessly tickling his naked midsection. They collapsed into a heap, giggling like children. God, how she wanted life to always be this way.

_**MEANWHILE, DOWNSTAIRS…**_

Sam Puckett squirmed. Her bed looked as though it had been hit by a tornado. Sheets had come untucked. Blankets were oddly bunched up. In the middle of the bed, a baby pink cowboy hat lay, cock-eyed, as though thrown there at random. Last night's play-date with the Idiot Farmgirl had been… interesting to say the least. There – separated from Sam by perhaps two and a half feet – lay Carly Shay. She was in a near-fetal position, sucking her thumb. Carly Shay – Sam's reason for living – looked like an overgrown newborn. Sam's heart was still pounding. They had gotten a little carried away last night. This sort of thing rarely happened when they had houseguests. Their nighttime entertainment was at times adventurous, sure, but last night's performance had shown both girls just how needy they both were. It took quite a bit to turn the love of Sam Puckett's life into a baby doll. Carly Shay needed to be completely contented for that to be the end result. The brunette, usually shy about her naked body, even with her partner, was blissfully unconcerned this morning.

Sam inched her body closer, anxious to fill the void between their bodies. She needed Carly Shay. She had always needed Carly Shay.

Sam's lower half met Carly's naked backside. They simply seemed to fit together. The blonde leaned in, craning her head so her lips could meet the flesh of her partner's bare shoulder. Sam knew that the only thing that could combat the taste of Carly Shay in her mouth was even more Carly Shay. She was an addict and she knew she needed more. As her mouth met the brunette's flesh, the taller girl stirred, grumbling in her sleep. From experience, Sam knew this sound to be an expression of equal parts annoyance and contentment. Carlotta Shay was still sleepy, but she relished the attention just the same.

"…Sam…." Carly whined. She pulled away from her blonde. She was sleepy. She wanted her space.

Sam kissed her again. She stroked her hair. She loved doing this. Her Cupcake could be a little diva, but Sam loved every single moment. Just being this close to Carly Shay was a gift; to be able to do it each and every morning was a godsend. She tossed aside the covers and sat up. Cold air hit her all over. She didn't care. She reached for the baby doll pink cowboy hat. With her free hand, Sam pulled Carly Shay to her. Sam kissed the softness of Carly's neck again, even though the brunette had her back to Sam. Sam knew Carly loved the attention just as much as Sam loved giving it to her.

"I love you, Cupcake…"

Carly's head lolled on her shoulders. She turned to face her blonde. Samantha Puckett meant more to her than anything in the entire world. Her body knew that it was _'wake up'_ time, no matter how much it wanted her to stay in bed and revel in her own nudity for even a little while longer. She didn't care. She loved Sam and she knew that she had to turn the tide and face the world.

"Hi…" Carly yawned, sleepily.

Sam chuckled. This happened at least twice a week. Twice a week, _she_ had to be the motivated one and roust the Cupcake out of bed and convince her to rejoin the world. Sam shoved the pink cowboy hat onto her partner's head of pretty chocolate ringlets. She loved her Farmgirl more than life itself.

"Rise and shine, Cupcake. Mama loves you…"

Sam saw Carly flush a deep shade of raspberry. It was another wonderful morning in the Shay-Puckett house.

_**AFTER BREAKFAST…**_

Melanie was running around the first floor of the house like a chicken that'd lost its head. She'd just done laps through the kitchen for the fourth time. Sam thought her sister was whacked out on loopy gas. It was either that or she'd downed an entire industrial-sized bottle of Crazy Sauce. It was a sight Sam was used to seeing with some frequency of late, but she knew when it was best to stay out of the way. She may be a prissy little daffodil, but she was still a Puckett. Sam knew better than to poke the bear. If you poked the bear at the zoo one too many times, you were liable to lose your arm. It worked the same way – Sam was pretty sure – with pop princesses.

"Omigod… Omigod… Tomorrow…. So much to do… Gotta go… gotta go… gotta go…"

Sam knew she was about to get thrown under the bus. She didn't care. She grabbed her sister by the shoulders. She and she alone could do this. She and she alone could say what needed to be said.

"MELANIE….. CHILL THE HELL OUT! Seriously… you're going to wear a groove into the floor, Chica…"

It was the first time she'd ever spoken Spanish to her sister. Sitting on the sofa with Carly, Freddie Benson's ears pricked up.

"_¿Como?"_

Sam had learned to admit that she honestly did love Freddie on some level. She loved him because he was her friend, but she truly loved him because he was the missing piece to her sister. He made her whole. Sam responded the only way she could.

"Fredwardo! Silencio!"

Melanie giggled. This was her precious little dysfunctional family at work. She loved them more than her own life. They were precious – all three of them. Sam spoke up.

"Now what the chizz is so important that you're all …. I dunno…. _twitchy_… and going a mile a minute around my kitchen?"

Melanie laughed. She knew that Sam was legitimately concerned. She knew she had to tell Sam and Carly what was going on, otherwise it would just get weird and confusing and just plain strange. She took a deep breath. The words came out in a rush, a mile a minute.

"Kurt's coming to town to work on the album, bringing his wife and kids… Have to make sure everything's perfect… He's so wonderful…"

Freddie Benson didn't much like the sound of this _wonderful_ man coming to town to spend hours on end with his lady, but with a wife and children, he knew there was nothing whatsoever to be concerned with. He trusted Melanie implicitly. He knew that her heart belonged to him and him alone. The rest of this was just music. She was a musician. She needed musician friends. The fact that they were married musician friends with small children helped. Pam Puckett would chase a married man halfway across town if she was interested. Her eldest daughter would never do such a thing, because marriage was a covenant between man and God. Melanie believed too strongly in her higher power to tempt the wrath of the Almighty. Her sister would never do such a thing simply because she had Carly Shay.

Melanie's nerves and angst finally subsided. She could finally relax. Freddie called to her from the living room.

"Hey Babe?"

Melanie blushed.

"Yes Handsome?"

Sam wanted to vomit.

"What's your schedule look like for tomorrow, in the studio?"

"Pretty packed, why?"

"No reason… just wanted to know how to plan my day, Love…"

This was not a lie per se, but Freddie Benson had certainly taken liberties with the truth.

Melanie hugged Sam close and both girls walked – hand in hand – to the living room sofa, to cozy up to their respective partners. This was the day they both wanted.


	9. iBabysit

**iBabysit**

The next morning, the three ladies, with Freddie Benson in tow, found themselves at Sea-Tac Airport, awaiting the arrival of Delta flight 1453 from Minneapolis. Melanie was excited. She couldn't wait to see her friend and meet his family. They were about to become her family as well. Kurt Love was by no means Freddie Benson, but he occupied a corner of Melanie's heart all the same, alongside her man and her gorgeous, precious sisters. Melanie was gushing. She wanted all factions of her little family to co-exist harmoniously.

"Oh gosh, I hope you guys like him… he's such a great guy…"

Freddie glanced over to his would-be sister-in-law, rolling his eyes. Sam understood his frustration. It was the same feeling she would get if the Cupcake went all gooey over some new gal-pal. Still, she thought Freddie was being something of a jackass. She shot him a look that said _'I may love you, but she's my sister'._ She simply reinforced the lesson Freddie should have learned years ago – Thou Shalt Not Play Games With Sam Puckett.

The loudspeaker had just announced the arrival of Delta flight 1453 from Minneapolis. Melanie squealed with joy when she first saw him.

"Hey there, Soul Sister!"

He wrapped her into a broad, sweeping hug, lifting her clear off her feet. This was precisely the response that Freddie not only anticipated, but was dreading. This man who already had everything he could ever ask for now had his arms around Freddie's woman.

He thought he was going to be sick.

Kurt Love put Melanie down, her feet touching the floor after what seemed to Freddie like an eternity, before Mel commenced with the obligatory introductions which, she realized, were altogether unnecessary.

Kurt extended his hand to the pretty brunette first. She smiled and introduced herself, out of habit more than anything.

"Hi, I'm Carly…" she said, forgetting that Melanie had just attempted to introduce them, only to be foiled by the airport's public address announcements.

He extended his hand to Sam.

"And you must be Sam…"

Sam was blunt and caustic, as always.

"We're twins… how _very_ perceptive of you…"

This degree of disrespect – in public, no less – had only one recourse. It was time to get swingy. Sam got slapped on each arm – in unison – by both women she loved. The subconsciously coordinated effort was laughable. Both Carly and Melanie spoke at the same time.

"Samantha!"

Stifling a chuckle, the rocker smiled, extending his hand to Freddie Benson. Against his better judgment, Freddie took his hand and shook it. Melanie shot her man a dagger-eyed look. The message was clear.

"_I love you. He's my friend, but you're my man. Be nice."_

"You must be Freddie… Mel's told me quite a bit about you…"

Freddie knew that Melanie loved him. She loved him beyond words. He knew, in his heart of hearts, that this man's only interest in the blonde haired, blue eyed center of his world was nothing beyond musical. He smiled and greeted her friend in the only way he knew how – en Español.

"_Hola.."_

Melanie giggled. She still, for the life of her, had no idea what her man's fixation was with Spanish.

A tiny voice reminded Kurt that he still hadn't made proper introductions. A dark haired, dark eyed little boy of six poked his head out from behind the leg of his father's jeans, locking eyes with Carly Shay.

"Daddy….?"

Kurt laughed, apologized, and introduced the group to his entire world: his wife Stephanie, six year old Nathan, and four year old fraternal twins Adam and Jennifer.

Carly Shay stepped forward. Even in the middle of the airport, she took it upon herself to serve as Melanie's social secretary. She looked directly as Stephanie.

"Hey, you're only in town for a couple of days. You've got your hands full here… Why don't Sam and I take the little ones off your hands for a couple of hours and let you unwind while these two are in the studio?"

Stephanie Love was a good mom. She wasn't the type to trust _anyone_ with her babies, but these two women were different. She could tell that they were decent people. She shot her husband a look. They didn't need to say a word. She raised an eyebrow. He nodded. It was done. Three little children walked through the airport, giggling, following their parents and their new friends.

_**BACK ACROSS TOWN…**_

Carly Shay fumbled with her keys. She knew she'd have to do this alone. Little Nathan was a good boy, at Carly's heels like a dutiful puppy dog. He reminded Carly of what Chuck Chambers could have been if he wasn't… _you know_ … Chuck. She felt so badly for her honey. Sam was the big, strong husband Carly would never have. She had a pair of goofy four year olds draped across her back, their hands around her neck, giggling the entire time. Carly would have laughed too, if she wasn't concerned for Sam's wellbeing. She was afraid the added weight of small children would hurt her precious blonde's neck. She would have fussed at this, if not for what she heard next.

Sam Puckett was laughing.

Carly crossed the threshold into the house, followed by Nathan, Sam, and the twins. The only thought that immediately crossed her mind was how lovely this was – her and Sam responsible for children. She wanted nothing more than to live this for real – for years on end, rather than simply an afternoon. She tossed her purse on the living room coffee table. She felt the boy bump into her from behind, following just a little too closely. He apologized, just the way his parents had taught him. He definitely was _the Anti-Chuck_.

Sam made her way over to Carly, a pair of four year olds still draped across her back. She leaned in close to Carly out of sheer force of habit, recalling at the last second that they had half a dozen eyes now watching them. Rather than make things _uncomfortable_, Sam withdrew, her eyes kissing Carly's soul instead. Carly understood completely and loved Sam all the more for it. If these were their babies, it would have been another story, but given that these were other people's children, in their charge however briefly, it was the respectful thing to do. She shot Sam a gentle look. Sam smiled, as though she could read her thoughts. She answered her love's unspoken question.

"We'll be right here when you get back, Cupcake…"

The children giggled at the sound of Carly's pet name. Carly leaned over, playfully mussing her blonde's hair before taking off down the hall to the studio. Moments later, she was back, lugging two overstuffed bean bags. Reaching the sofa, Carly tossed them in front of the TV.

"Hey guys, you like cartoons?"

A smile lit Carly Shay's face as three little people jumped from her sofa to the bean bags in front of the TV, the six year old on the far end, with the four year old twins hugging one another, all three on their stomachs, ready for cartoons. The most precious part of the whole affair was the fact that Carly had three little kids and one great big kid to look after.

_**TWO HOURS LATER**_…

Sam was dozing on the sofa, dried Fat Cake icing around her mouth, with two sleepy little boys sleeping on top of her. The shrieking of her PearPhone due to a random text message woke all three of them. The two boys fell away from Sam, cuddling into a still-sleepy lump at the far end of the sofa.

Sam was barely awake, but she swung her feet off the sofa and to the floor quickly, like she always did when she slept through her alarm and was late for class. She checked her phone through bleary eyes. She knew what it said without looking. She knew she was late. It was time to duck out, using all of her invisible ninja skills, while leaving the Cupcake outnumbered three to one. She hated herself for it, but knew it needed to be done. She could never lie to Carly Shay, but, in this case, she knew she had to try.

Her brain was still barely functional and she plodded lazily into the kitchen, where Carly was working, supervised by a little girl eating a peanut butter sandwich with the crusts cut off. Instead of her usual goodbye kiss, Sam settled for a lingering hug instead – there were, of course, children present.

"I've got to run out for a little bit, Cupcake… I've got…" Sam stammered. "… a thing…"

Carly was confused as all hell, but she just raised an eyebrow and let her go.

"Uh, okay… When will you be home?"

"Hour, tops…"

Carly couldn't be hurt. She was too busy smiling on the inside. Just before the door shut, Sam saw a dark haired little girl waving at her.

"Bye bye, Miss Sam… We miss you…"

Carly Shay's heart sang for joy. This had to be the best day of her life so far.


	10. iAsk The Hard Questions

**iAsk The Hard Questions**

Sam drove the familiar route across town without so much as thinking. Truthfully, she could have driven it with her eyes closed. She was manic right now. Mania ran in the Puckett family, it seemed. Maybe it was just her and Melanie, based on what Pam had put them through. She didn't know and she didn't care. She did know, however, that she would have one serious, hard-nosed talk with her co-conspirator as soon as she arrived. Everything had almost gone to hell in a hand basket. She couldn't keep secrets from her beautiful, precious Cupcake. She could lie her ass off to the rest of Seattle, but keeping anything from Carly Shay was damn near impossible.

She went over the text message in her head. She knew that if Carly had seen it and not paid attention to the sender, she would've thought Sam was having an affair, as impossible as that was to believe. It was the one thing Sam Puckett would never – could never – do. She may love differently than a majority of the world, but her love was love just the same. Carly Shay was the center of her world. She woke and slept with Carly Shay. She had laughed and cried with Carly Shay. She had broken bread and prayed with this woman. All of this made it imperative that she keep this clandestine meeting in the last possible place that the Cupcake would ever come looking for her. As much as she loved Carly Shay, some things simply needed to be private. If someone came to her in confidence, for whatever reason, she needed to honor that. Sam was as in the dark as anybody, but now wasn't the time. This was about doing first, asking questions later.

Sam pulled into the parking structure of the well-heeled office building she had left just hours earlier. She knew that, right now, nearly two dozen floors up, her precious twin sister was singing out with all of her heart and soul. As this whole endeavor got underway, Sam had begun to understand what this _'music thing'_ meant to her sister. For her, this was therapy and religion and addiction all rolled up together. It wasn't simply something that Melanie was _good at_, it was one of the two things she had been born for – music and Freddie Benson. Sam knew it and it no longer turned her stomach to consider it as incontrovertible fact. Of course, the thought of what Melanie and Freddie might do behind closed doors was beyond unpleasant. It was repulsive. It was also the reason she didn't dwell on it. She couldn't think of her sister doing those kinds of things. If _That Boy_ was what would make her only sister the happiest straight girl in the entire world, then Sam had no business trying to tell her otherwise. She took a deep breath and undid her seat belt. She had a Sit Down to attend.

_**UPSTAIRS, THE PALOMINO RESTAURANT…**_

She had to admit, this thing was about as perfect as possible. She couldn't have arranged things any better if she were part of Uncle Carmine's crew. Everything was the way that it should be if you wanted to avoid an _incident_. This was a public place, crowded with the mid-afternoon rush, that crowd between lunch and dinner. There were just enough witnesses around to keep the target in line, prevent them from doing anything rash. This would be all well and good if the target in question was someone other than Sam Puckett. She sat down at the table. She was livid. She knew she'd have to say her piece, but she also knew the way these things were supposed to go. You weren't to speak unless spoken to. That said, this intruded on her private, personal life. On the plus side, at least there was food. She almost didn't care – _almost_. Not even the best food of the mother country could keep Sam from missing her Cupcake. She'd been torn away from her side for _this?_ This had better be goddamned important.

She seethed, but kept her voice low, so as to avoid breaking one of Uncle Carmine's cardinal rules.

"Do you have any goddamn idea the position you put me in, asking me to come here, now? Don't you know that we could be seen by any number of people? Any number of people could ruin this whole thing? Did you even _think _about that?"

The voice from across the table was cool and even, having expected this outburst.

"And yet you came. Are you quite done? All this angst you have will ruin your appetite. Eat something while we talk."

Freddie Benson thought he was The Godfather.

Sam spat at him in Italian. He knew it wasn't complimentary. She switched back to English.

"You pulled me away from home because you wanted to have_ lunch?"_

He interrupted her.

"Look, this is about your sister…. This is _important_. I needed to see you…"

The look in his eyes said it all. Sam knew that this was important. She also knew, barring some universal breakdown in communication, what this was about. She let him talk. _"Give him enough rope and he'll hang himself…"_ she thought.

"Sam, I… She's wonderful… I… she just…"

Freddie couldn't find the words.

Sam could have shot him down six ways from Sunday, with one snarky response or the other. She knew that she couldn't do that. That was too juvenile. As much as she proclaimed otherwise, she cared about this boy… about this man. He wasn't a boy anymore. He'd grown into a man – the man that her sister loved.

She looked him in the eye again. She knew it was true. His eyes – a slightly milkier chocolate color than Carly's – had begun to mist up. The thought of her sister had moved this man to tears.

"For God Sakes, Benson, don't cry… you'll cause a goddamn scene…"

Despite her tone, Freddie knew why she was saying it. She cared.

He spoke again, his voice breaking ever so slightly.

"Sam, I didn't know how else to do this… I mean, I couldn't do this… I love Melanie _so much_… I wouldn't be much of a man if I didn't…"

Sam cut him off. She did it for her own reasons, reasons she hoped Freddie understood.

"You're still not much of a man…"

Freddie understood all too well. He laughed. Sam wanted him to smile.

"Sam, I… what I… what I mean to say is…"

Sam was growing a little tired of this. A grown man couldn't even form a coherent sentence.

"Dammit Benson, just out with it already!"

He took a deep breath. Absent anything else to do, he reached across the table, taking Sam's hand in his own. Sam thought this was strange. The only person she ever let touch her this way was her Cupcake. She bristled at the foreign touch, but it subsided soon enough.

"Sam, I love your sister very much. She makes me feel…well… alive. She's amazing…"

Sam knew all of this already. This was boring. She let the Nub keep talking.

"I want to spend the rest of my life with her, Sam… like you do with Carly… I just needed your… your _permission_ first… I wouldn't be much of a man if I didn't do things properly. So, I suppose what I'm saying is… Sam Puckett, would you allow me the honor of having your sister's hand?"

Sam gaped. She knew this was coming, she just didn't realize it would be coming this soon. She felt warm, flushed. She was shaking, though she had no idea why. Something in Freddie Benson had lit a spark deep inside of her. Freddie squeezed her hand again. It was a soft, gentlemanly touch – unlike anything Sam had ever known. Men were rough, abrasive. Men weren't soft and gentle like this. She had no idea what was happening until the moment that it happened. Freddie Benson gingerly lifted Sam Puckett's hand – a hand identical in every respect to that of his future bride, albeit slightly rougher – to his lips. He kissed her hand just as he had Melanie's so many times before.

It had taken until now for Sam Puckett to realize that there were tears streaming down her face.

"Sam, what's the matter? Was it me? Was it something I…?"

Sam tried everything she could to be the cold, steely ninja. She tried and failed. Her heart wanted what it wanted and nothing more. She cared for Melanie more than anyone in this world, aside from Carly Shay. She let the tears come. Freddie Benson was safe. He was the one person in the world who could never hurt her. Melanie was her twin – her blood – incapable of harming another living thing. Carly Shay was her soft, sweet, precious little Cupcake. She alone had seen and vanquished Sam's inner demons. She alone had taken Sam onto herself, wrapped her in the soft, downy warmth of their love, and protected her from the storm.

Freddie Benson was different. Sam had given him ample reason over the years for him to hate her – yet he refused to. That was something she couldn't understand.

He read her mind the way only Carly could.

"It's okay, Sam… you can say the words…"

She looked at him, shocked. How could he know?

"Really… It's okay…" he said, his voice soothing. It reminded her of Melanie's all those years ago – in the painful times.

"It's okay…" he repeated. He let her come to that realization in her own time.

She finally did. She spoke in an injured voice, as though her soul was reluctant to give up her most closely guarded – yet most transparent – secret.

"Why should you and perfect little Melanie get to have everything? Don't I deserve that too? Just because my love is different from yours doesn't mean…"

Freddie cut her off. He couldn't stand to see her hurt.

"Sam… of course it doesn't… I never said, nor would I ever tell you that Melanie and I deserve something that you don't. Remember what you told me? You are a package deal. If I want one, I have to take the other… So… Why don't you dry those pretty blue eyes and let's start talking about planning two weddings. That _is_ what you want, isn't it?"

Sam whimpered. It was a sound that only two people on the planet – her sister and her love – had ever heard before. Sam was just overcome with emotion. She asked the most obvious question in the world – the one with the most obvious answer in the world. The answer was so obvious that Sam had never once considered it.

"You would do that for me?"

A grin flashed across Freddie's face as he continued to hold her hand.

"Of course I would, Sam. I'll always be here for you. That's what family's for."

Sam Puckett's world was spinning. She wanted to say so many things. The only thing she could, however, was woefully inadequate. It would have to do.

"Thank you, Freddie. Thank you."


	11. iSpeak The Truth

**iSpeak The Truth**

Melanie Puckett had goose bumps. She loved this song solely because of the guitar intro. She knew that only two men on the planet could ever play it convincingly. Interestingly enough, both hailed from Minneapolis. This wasn't for the album. This song was personal. She hoped that the recipient of this track would be able to read between the lines and understand. She leaned into the mic and let loose.

"…_How can you just leave me standing?..."  
"…Alone in a world that's so cold? (So cold)…"  
"…Maybe I'm just too demanding…"  
"…Maybe I'm just like my father… too bold…"  
"…Maybe you're just like my mother…"  
"…She's never satisfied (She's never satisfied)…"  
"….Why do we scream at each other?..."  
"…This is what it sounds like…"  
"…When doves cry…"_

She knew that this could only be half true. It was true that Pam Puckett was never satisfied. Nothing either of her children ever did would ever be good enough. From Melanie's point of view, Pam had thrown Sam under the proverbial bus years ago, much like that city bus they'd come into this world in. Everything Pam did for Melanie – all the attention and the praise she'd been showered with as a young girl – was hollow. It was never about _'I love you'_ and always about _'What have you done for me lately?'_. She knew that Pam had abandoned them both, truly. Their father – Melanie had no idea who he was. He was long gone by the time the twins had taken their first breaths. She didn't know if this had been by design or some God-awful confluence of circumstances. All Melanie Puckett knew was that she wished she'd known him. Life would have been so much easier – on both of them – had they had a daddy to depend on.

Despite everything that her sister had been forced to endure as a child, Melanie wished that she could take it on herself instead. Sam deserved better than she'd been dealt. Sam was a product of their environment. Melanie was equally a product of that environment. She was a product of Sam having shielded her from it. While her sister had been beaten, cut, and burned through their mother's addiction, illness, and neglect, Melanie had been spared that fate. Samantha, even as a small child, had seen to that. She was the younger of the two, but she made a conscious choice from as early on as Melanie could remember that nothing and no one would ever touch her sister. No matter what it took, one of them would be clean, unblemished, and beautiful.

Melanie decided to take five. She and Kurt had stayed late tonight specifically to wrap up some non-album tracks. This was just Melanie singing not to make a dollar, but to unburden her heart. Song was just her vehicle. She'd finished four new songs today, plus these two additional tracks. This was just about her being herself. She wasn't about angsty teeny-bopper rock. That wasn't who she was. She was, as he'd called her, a soul sister. She was about peace, love, rhythm, and rhyme, all in time. She was all about Soul.

She'd pitched a novel idea to Kurt over lunch that afternoon. It was to be a truly intimate moment, captured for a specific purpose, but if she was going to do it, she needed complete control. It had to be done exactly her way. Again, this wouldn't find its way onto the album. This was too important to be shared with the world. She told Kurt that she didn't care if it took more time, she insisted on having it done her way.

He had gone from guitarist to producer this time around. He'd mixed the master of his band's debut disc himself on a laptop in his walk-in closet back in Minnesota. This was clearly more complicated, but he had the pros to back him up.

"You ready to roll?"

"You know it…"

What came through Melanie's headphones was pure and melodious, a mix of blues and soul. Mel had said that it needed to be, like her, '_all about soul_', even if she had to resort to some very unique recording work to prove her point. This was her fourth pass through the song today. It was by design. With a little bit of tweaking on the production end, she was singing four-part harmony. Melanie Puckett was harmonizing with herself. It all had a purpose.

"…_There had to be, a better way…"  
"…To show I'm grateful (hmm)…"  
"…So I thought up this song…"  
"…To show my appreciation for lovin' me so long…"  
"…You don't know much you mean to me…"_

_"…'cause even though the times got rough…"_  
_"…You never turned away…"_  
_"…You were right there…"_  
_"…And I thank you… (thank you…ooo…) …"_  
_"…When I felt I'd had enough…"_  
_"…You never turned away…"_  
_"…You were right there…"_  
_"…And I thank you (thank you)…"_

_"…All through my life…"_  
_"…I knew that you'd be my world…"_  
_"…Knowing everywhere I go…"_  
_"…Things you taught me, they would show…"_  
_"…So many times and changes…"_  
_"…You've seen me through…"_  
_"…I sure enough couldn't have survived without you…"_  
_"…And so I thought up this song…"_  
_"…To show my appreciation for lovin' me so long..."_  
_"…You don't know how much you mean to me…"_

Melanie knew, as they said all the time, that this was a wrap. She was tired and lonely. She missed her family. She needed to go home.

_**BACK HOME…**_

It was late, but the Shay-Puckett-Benson clan hung together, steadfast. Carly sat in the living room recliner, a sleepy little girl plastered to her chest. Freddie was out cold on the sofa, sandwiched between a pair of sleeping little boys. Mama Puckett was wired. She sat at the kitchen table working on killing her fourth _pot_ of coffee. There would be no sleep for her this night. Carls hadn't been the slightest bit upset nor suspicious when Sam walked through the front door, followed by Freddie. He'd covered for her – lied to Carly so Sam wouldn't have to. Carly didn't care. So long as she had Mama by her side, all was well.

Sam's ears pricked up. She heard a car outside. Melanie had to be home.

Moments later, her sister entered the house, followed by her married rocker friend, to collect his babies. He hoped they hadn't been any trouble. Sam spoke before her Cupcake could.

"They were absolute angels… You two are absolutely blessed."

She tried to be the steely invisible ninja. She failed for the second time tonight. She felt the heat rising in her cheeks.

Kurt thanked the ladies, collected his children one by one, and quietly bade the foursome good night. By the time the front door shut behind him, Carly Shay had succumbed to advancing sleep, leaving the Puckett twins alone in the house, for all practical purposes. Melanie dropped her purse into an empty kitchen chair and took a seat across from her sister.

"Sam, we need to talk…"

Melanie knew it would be a long night, but things needed to be said. Things that she should have found the courage to say years ago.


	12. iBare My Soul

**iBare My Soul**

The Pucketts were a contradiction in terms. Melanie was exhausted, while Sam had caffeine and adrenaline coursing through her veins. They were both spent. They both shared a single thought.

"_You're home. Thank God."_

Melanie heard her sister say four words. At first, they didn't register. Once they did, they nearly stopped her heart.

"I talked to Mom."

Melanie was crushed. She thought she'd made things _abundantly _clear to Pam – Samantha was off-limits. She thought Pam knew, even in her addiction, that Sam was out of bounds. She thought she'd made it clear that morning a month ago. She wasn't a little girl any longer. She would not tolerate her sister being abused any longer. She was a grown woman now and she would fight, scratch, claw, and die for her only sister, if it came to that. This was payback.

"Sam, I…"

"Mel, it's okay… She… she's just… she's got _problems_."

This was putting it mildly.

"Sam, Honey, she just… she doesn't understand you the way that I do. She never tried. I know I could've been a better sister to you, but I'm here now…"

Sam knew that this was both the truth and a lie, not that the Princess had much practice with the latter. She lied as well as Carly did.

"Mel, whatever happened between us, that's old news. I'm just glad you're here now and we have what we have. The fact is that I lo… I lo… I lov…" She tripped over the words.

Melanie understood. She said nothing. She moved on.

"She was pretty hard on you tonight, wasn't she?"

Sam refused to answer, at least directly.

"Thank God that Freddie was here. He kept those kids occupied, so it could just be me and Carls for a minute…"

Melanie was stunned, but she understood. She knew that it took an awful lot for Sam to say she was thankful for the man who made Melanie's own heart skip beats. She knew in the heart that beat in time with her sister's that Carly Shay was the only person who could ever bring Sam the peace that she needed in a moment like the one she'd just described. Without Carly Shay, Samantha would have come unglued and have been irresponsible for her own actions. The brunette was her bandage. She kept Samantha in check. She kept her sister's soul intact, prevented it from fracturing into a million tiny pieces.

Melanie reached for her purse, removing a small stack of CDs. She quickly flipped through them, selecting two of the six, and handing them to her sister.

"The first one is going on the album. Take a listen and let me know who you think it reminds you of… The second one, well, it's special. It's for you and for you alone…"

Sam shot her sister a quizzical look. She didn't much care about the words that the Princess was saying. She simply bent down, retrieving Carly's laptop from the floor, where she'd left it this afternoon, after working on homework while Sam napped with children who weren't theirs. Checking the volume levels, Sam slid the first disc into the CD drive. It spun up. From the sound of it, it was a country song. Why her sister gravitated to that over other genres, she would never know. She just did as she was told. She listened.

…"_I didn't wanna hafta do this…"_

…"_Waste a perfectly good song…"_

…"_I'd rather be singin'… about a love I can believe in…"_

…"…_and not one that's gone wrong…"_

…"_But it's all for you… Yeah, it's heartfelt!..."_

…"_You broke mine…"_

…" _And payback is HELL!..."_

…"_Well, I'm gonna break….BREAK…. your heart…"_

…"_on the radio…"_

Sam was utterly fucking stunned. Melanie was always Pam's perfect little angel. Growing up, it had always been _'Why can't you be more like Melanie?', 'Would it kill you to be more like your sister?', 'Couldn't you even try to be more like Melanie?'... _Melanie, Melanie, Melanie. Sam finally understood. Melanie had never fostered this division – this second-class citizenship – between them. It had all been Pam's doing.

Sam ejected the disc and put it back in the case. Setting it on the table, Melanie saw her sister's hand tremble, just the way it used to when they were little girls. She knew what Sam was thinking.

"Sam… Honey... it's okay…"

"You know she'll never forgive you, don't you… She'll just… like me…"

"Samantha… I'm at peace with it. We're both grown adults, and someone needed to stand up to her. You've done that enough. This was what I could do… in my own way… to pay back… everything… from…"

Sam cut her sister off. She didn't want to go there. Going back down the road to that Dark Place meant talking about it. Talking about what happened made the demons real again. They just stared into each other's eyes. The bond of being an identical twin occasionally meant moments of psychic connection, where they needn't ever speak a word. It had truly saved both of their lives, all of those years separated. While Sam always spoke derisively of Precious Little Melanie and her much-vaunted private, all-expense paid education, that was only on the outside. Inside, between her ears – Sam spent hours with her sister each and every day. She only needed to clear her mind of everything but her twin and they were instantly one again.

Melanie motioned to the remaining CD.

"Sam, please… That's for you. That won't go on the album. That's just from me to you…"

Sam wanted to cast it aside. Melanie didn't need to do this, but she humored the little pixie out of habit.

This disc spun up and brought with it a different sound entirely. This was much more… Street. This was most definitely _not Melanie_.

_"…__There had to be, a better way…"  
"…To show I'm grateful (hmm)…"  
"…So I thought up this song…"  
"…To show my appreciation for lovin' me so long…"  
"…You don't know much you mean to me…"_

_"…'cause even though the times got rough…"__  
__"…You never turned away…"__  
__"…You were right there…"__  
__"…And I thank you… (thank you…ooo…) …"__  
__"…When I felt I'd had enough…"__  
__"…You never turned away…"__  
__"…You were right there…"__  
__"…And I thank you (thank you)…"_

_"…All through my life…"__  
__"…I knew that you'd be my world…"__  
__"…Knowing everywhere I go…"__  
__"…Things you taught me, they would show…"__  
__"…So many times and changes…"__  
__"…You've seen me through…"__  
__"…I sure enough couldn't have survived without you…"__  
__"…And so I thought up this song…"__  
__"…To show my appreciation for lovin' me so long..."__  
__"…You don't know how much you mean to me…"_

Melanie looked up and saw her sister in tears.

"Sam?"

"You really think that? About me?"

It was as though Sam Puckett had never before, in her life, heard one single word Melanie had ever said.

"But of course I do, Honey… Samantha… you've put yourself on the line, front and center, to protect me since we were children. You've loved me in a way that no one else ever could."

She motioned to her fully dressed boyfriend, snoring away quietly on the sofa.

"Not even him…"

Sam immediately pushed her chair back and ran to her sister, who stood up to meet her, allowing her twin to fall into her arms, their foreheads gently touching. One couldn't tell where Sam Puckett ended and Melanie Puckett began.

The twins spent the next several minutes holding one another, cooing to each other in the long-ago used baby talk that only they understood, when they, as little girls, told each other their innermost secrets.

"Sam, you know, this was never a surprise to me… you and Carly… I knew you were… _you know…_ _different_… like forever ago. You really are my hero, Samantha… I've always wished I could be a little bit more like you…"

The sweet, well intentioned Sam Puckett – only seen by two people in the world – inherently jumped to the absolutely wrong conclusion.

"Since when do you like girls?"

"Wait… what? Samantha! I don't like women… _you know… that way…._ "

"Then what the deuce did you mean?"

"You are impossible… You're my sister and I love and adore you, but you _are_ absolutely impossible… I meant you've always been the strong and brave one. I wish I had that in me…"

"You wish you had that in you instead of…"

Melanie knew exactly where Sam's perverse little put-down was headed. She shot her down immediately.

"Samantha Ann! How dare you? If you must know, we haven't… and we won't, so if you _please…_ stay out of my bedroom and I'll stay out of yours…"

"Jeez, sis, you don't have to be so mean about it…"

"You want me to tell your sweet little Cupcake?"

"About?"

Melanie shot her a look. Sam knew exactly what.

"You wouldn't dare!"

"Oh, come on Sam! It's the most precious thing ever! I knew then that you two belonged together…"

Melanie was, of course, referring to the time that Carly had broken her arm when they were 9, falling off her bike. Sam had decided to go straight over to Carly's place with a bouquet of flowers – only that girls couldn't give other girls flowers… it just wasn't appropriate. This was the message from Pam. It broke Sam's heart, but she'd done it anyway… well, mostly. Still fearful of their mother, the twins had made their way to Carly's front door together, yet Sam was too terrified to go in. That was the very first time that she had ever scaled the Shays' fire escape, with Melanie, all of nine years old at the time, wringing her hands on the sidewalk, praying to God that her sister wouldn't slip and fall.

Sam didn't have the courage to go in, but she'd left flowers on the window ledge outside Carly's bedroom. They were still there when Carly woke up the next morning. She had never known where they'd come from.

Melanie yawned. It had been nearly a fifteen hour day for her. Sam knew everything else that needed to be said between them could be – in time. Always the strong one, she led her precious little daffodil of a sister into the living room. They both collapsed on the bean bags still in front of the TV. Within minutes, Melanie was sound asleep. Sam pulled her close, their legs intertwining, much the way Sam and Carly's usually did. Sam was once again the Big Little Sister. She drew Melanie close and they slept together, one into the other, as they had all those years ago.


	13. iThink We Need To Talk

**iThink We Need To Talk**

The early morning sunlight cut a swath across Carly Shay's face, waking her from a sound sleep. She had only recently been able to fall off to sleep. Sleep without Sam made Carly all antsy. She had grown accustomed to waking up to Sam. When she didn't wake up to Sam's arm around her waist or Sam's chest pressed into her back, it threw her world off. She wasn't greedy, but she'd simply grown used to sharing any space with Sam Puckett.

Carly extricated herself from the recliner, her head fuzzy and her body stiff. She cast a sidelong glance at the beanbags still in the middle of the living room floor. There, in one big lump of pale white skin and long blonde hair, were the Puckett twins. Carly knew this was something she wasn't meant to see. She knew that, no matter how adversarial their relationship had been, Sam and Melanie were and would always be thick as thieves. In that respect, Carly envied her famous blonde soul sister. Even as Sam's wife, Carly would never enjoy the sort of relationship that she shared with Melanie.

She plodded across the room gently, Grandma Shay's favorite old quilt trailing behind her. It had been Sam for her last night, keeping Carly warm and safe. As Grandma told it, it had been a wedding gift from Granddad's sister – Carly's great aunt – who had disappeared from family conversation sometime after the Second World War. It was old and worn – Carly always described it as being _'loved' _– but Carly loved it just the same. She often imagined the stories this warm old quilt would tell her if it could. She remembered snuggling deep into its folds when she was a little girl. Grandma had given it to Carly on her last visit to Yakima months ago. Her grandmother had given it to her saying that she hoped it would bring Carly and her family as much comfort and joy as it had the three generations of Shays who had used it in the past half-century. Thinking over her grandmother's words, Carly draped the thick quilt across the bodies of the two people she loved the most in the entire world, praying that sleep would keep them for just a short while longer.

Sleep would be short-lived for the Puckett sisters, thanks to Sam's olfactory senses being tuned to all things food-related. She sat bolt upright, her forehead knocking against her sister's. They had fallen asleep in some adorably perverse rendition of the way Carly and Sam typically slept.

"Ow! Sam!"

"Coffee? I smell coffee… who made coffee?"

In a momentary childhood flashback, Sam did what she did every morning that Melanie slept with her as a child, soothing away Sam's tears after one of Pam's '_episodes'_. She leaned close and kissed the crown of her sister's forehead, praying that her partner would not see. She could show off her entire body to the Cupcake, but _this_ was too intimate. She hoped against hope that Carly hadn't seen.

Carly had. She simply pretended not to see. She knew that this needed to be between Sam and Melanie until such time as Sam felt the desire to fill her in. All Carly knew for sure was that she needed Sam more today than she had in ages. She hadn't slept with Sam last night, so she truly had not slept. She tossed and turned, such as it was, until perhaps two hours ago. Her mind raced with thoughts of Sam, of things she desired, and of what she wanted more than anything in the world. She never before thought that this was possible, given that she spent a majority of her life as a little girl without a mother. She was always left to navigate the world of femininity – what it meant to be a woman – without any traditional source of guidance.

Aside from the traditional mother-daughter moments, Carly, of course, wished she had had her mother to help her understand the feelings she held for Sam Puckett years before she knew that those feelings had a name and that she wasn't the only person in the world to ever feel this way. More than ever before, Carly Shay wished that she could pick up the phone, dial the numbers, and hear Maureen Shay's voice, reassuring her that Mommy loved her and that everything would be okay.

Carly, of course, knew that this was impossible. The only way she and her mother ever spoke anymore was by way of her prayers. She had fallen off over the years. She believed, erroneously, according to Melanie, that the same God who had taken her mother could not possibly love her. This was what she got for being raised by The Colonel. Melanie Puckett, however, had assured her that The Creator of All was beautiful and loved beauty. Everything that was beautiful in the world, Melanie told her, was a product of love and was from God.

All of this had Carly cut to ribbons on the inside. She felt like she would crumble into a billion irreparable pieces without Sam to put her back together again. Lost in a haze, she felt Sam's lips on the soft flesh of her neck. Sam was standing behind her, kissing the place that she knew would make Carly turn into a limp, wet noodle.

"Good morning, Cupcake…"

Carly tried to hold herself together, but she could feel in her bones that it was a losing proposition. She first felt it in her chest, and then noticed that her coffee cup was shaking violently in her hand. She knew it was all over. Carly was in a bad, bad place. Caffeine, adrenaline, and estrogen coursing through your veins all at the same time had to be a recipe for disaster.

"Sam… _Honey_… We… we need to talk…"

Sam was petrified. This was either the beginning of the _'I've Met Someone'_ talk or the beginning of some similar talk that was destined not to end well for Sam Puckett.

A half-conscious Melanie Puckett was now in the kitchen, running on pure adrenaline. Their childhood had conditioned her to wake at the slightest sound of distress. She was immediately Sam's protector, as she had been hers when they were small.

Sam was still terrified. Carly Shay was her world. She needed to know. She didn't need to say a single word. Carly instinctively answered the question her eyes seemed to send.

"We're fine, Sam. There's just something… something… something… we should talk about… I just… I love you so much…"

Sam's hand was in the small of Carly's back, supporting her the only way Sam knew how.

Melanie jumped in and did everything she could. She knew that it fell to her to support the both of them. Sam and Carly meant more to her than she could ever put into words.

"Sam, Go. You two go and talk. I'll take care of things here. I'll bring you both coffees in a few minutes. I love you both."

_**TEN MINUTES LATER…**_

Melanie waited what seemed to her to be an appropriate amount of time before she gently nudged open her sisters' bedroom door with the toe of her boot, her hands full with a tray containing a matched set of coffee mugs.

"Knock, knock, Princesses…"

The room was in fairly good order considering both girls were sitting on the bed cross-legged, facing one another. Carly's face was collapsed into Sam's shoulder. She could hear tears. This was a better sign than she had anticipated.

She was a Puckett and had grown up with dysfunction, tears, and abuse. This had a completely different feel. She had learned to listen in-between the sobs and piece things together. These were… if not happy tears, at least contented tears. She thought she heard the words _'baby'_, _'mommy'_, and _'pregnant'_, but she was still totally confused. Did Carly want a family? Was Melanie going to be an auntie? Her heart leapt for joy at the prospect, but she knew it was inappropriate to intrude on such an intimate moment.

She certainly knew how children came to be and that Sam and Carly would need a little help in that regard, but, again, Melanie knew her place. She went the safest route possible and asked the most innocuous question possible.

"Everything okay here, guys?"

Sam glanced up to her sister, motioning for her set their coffee down on the nightstand. Sam's gaze was also twin-speak for _'We're fine. I love you, thanks for caring.'_

Melanie pretended not to listen to her sister. This was supposed to be private couple-talk with Carly, but if she _just so happened_ to overhear, that couldn't possibly be a crime, now could it?

"…You sure, Carls?..."

"…But Carls… If we do this, we should do it, you know, properly, shouldn't we?..."

"…If it's what you want, yes, absolutely…"

"…I'll be right here for you, every step of the way, whatever you need, Cupcake…"

Melanie Puckett crossed the room silently, like the ninja Sam always wanted to be, and shut the door behind her. She smiled to herself, content in the knowledge that came with being a twin. She was nothing more than an observer today. The world is but a stage, and Melanie Puckett was content being one of its players.


	14. iCall You My Own

**iCall You My Own**

The intervening week was torture in the Shay-Puckett household, at least so far as Melanie Puckett was concerned. Her schedule had not abated and showed no signs of letting up anytime soon. There were three distinct segments to her life. She was simultaneously fastidious student, aspiring singer, and devoted sister and lover. While she devoted her entire soul to each endeavor, she couldn't split herself into three people. She needed to divide her time amongst her three obligations, a task that was becoming more and more difficult as time wore on.

It all came to a head that Friday after lunch. Melanie was returning home from class to find her sister rushing out the door, nearly bowling her over. Mel knew Sam had the day off, having worked late the night before. Among Sam's great many talents, she was a virtuoso in the kitchen. She had first demonstrated this skill growing up, then here on campus, and most recently by landing a job in the kitchen of a small, intimate bistro down on the water. Her lack of culinary credentials was overlooked due to her exceptional skill – along with a phone call from Uncle Carmine. It certainly paid to have family in the '_restaurant supply business_'.

"Outta the way, Princess!"

"Sam!"

Carly Shay sat on the sofa, still half-dressed, and giggled. It was very nearly early afternoon and Carly Shay looked as though she had just rolled out of bed. She was dressed in her old Ridgeway High gym shirt, a pair of Sam's boxer shorts, and some very obviously mismatched socks. Melanie thought Carly looked absolutely precious, but didn't let her mind linger any further on the details. She simply smiled before turning her attention back to her sister.

"And _you_… Where are you headed in such a god-awful hurry?"

Melanie was teasing and Sam knew it. It was just the way that they would always be. Sam and Sam alone could give Melanie a hard time. Anyone else would find their face broken.

"Chill out there, Divalicious… I've got an errand to run, I'll be back in maybe an hour, tops!"

Sam brushed past Melanie and out the door, slamming it behind her.

Melanie threw herself down on the sofa, cozying up next to Carly. She slung her arm across Carly's shoulders, just like Sam did. Carly began to feel comfortable – _perhaps a little bit too comfortable_ – until it clicked in her brain that this was Melanie, not Mama, who was snuggled up next to her.

Melanie's voice rang out in that beautiful, light, airy way that Sam's never did. Carly was acutely aware now.

"Hey Carls, mind if I ask you a question?"

Carly shot the pretty blonde a warm look and a bright smile. She was praying to God Melanie hadn't noticed her pulse quicken or her breath hitching in her chest. That would just be _too_ _embarrassing_.

"Shoot…"

"Carly… Seriously… how on Earth _DO_ you put up with my sister without – _you know_ – smothering her in her sleep?"

Melanie rolled her eyes dramatically as Carly burst out laughing.

"It's a challenge sometimes, Honey, but the fact is that I love the hell out of her. She's, first and foremost, my best friend. She's my partner… and she does weird things to me…"

Melanie plugged her ears with her fingers and began talking over Carly.

"_LALALALALALALALA NOT LISTENING!"_

Carly giggled. She knew that Melanie knew Carly wasn't referring to the private world that was their bedroom, but that Melanie was just being her sweet, silly self.

"So… Where in God's name did my Dark Half run off to, Carly Shay?"

"Jeez, Mel… you talk about her like she's the devil… you're beginning to sound like that little boy-toy of yours…"

Melanie chuckled.

"And yet you have the good sense to know I'm teasing. This proves my sister at least has good taste when it comes to choosing a mate. So… where'd she go?"

"No idea. All I know is that she ran out this morning for maybe twenty minutes and said she needed to do something this afternoon. Beyond that, you're guess is as good as mine."

Melanie let out an exasperated sigh. She sometimes wished that Sam was still on probation. At least then she could be tracked on GPS.

"Oh, Carly Shay, Carly Shay, Carly Shay… What are we going to do with that girl?"

Their eyes met, complete with white, flashing smiles.

"I have no idea, Melanie Dear… Love her forever?"

"If you insist, Cupcake… Now get dressed. The sight of you in my sister's unmentionables is a bit…"

Carly Shay finished her sister-in-law's thought.

"Disturbing?"

"A tad…"

Carly squeezed in as close to Mel as she could, giving her a gentle hug, before withdrawing and excusing herself.

Melanie chuckled to herself watching Carly Shay slink away to the bedroom she shared with Sam. She knew it had to be strange sharing a home with identical twins – one of whom you were sleeping with. Melanie loved Carly to pieces. She sometimes wondered, however, if she wasn't getting in the way of Carly's romantic relationship with her sister. She unlaced her favorite boots and propped her stocking-feet up on the coffee table. It wasn't good manners, she knew, but it was better than a rolled ankle. She knew Carly would be only a few more minutes. It was nice to live in a quiet house for a change.

_**ACROSS TOWN, THE WESTBROOK MALL…**_

They met, clandestinely, at a table in front of _El Taco Guapo_ in the food court. She hated sneaking around like this, but she also knew she had no other choice.

"You're late."

Sam took another bite of her burrito. Just because Freddifer was late was no reason that she couldn't have a burrito.

"And you're hungry."

Sam spoke with a mouthful of burrito.

"So?"

"We're here for a ….. _WHOA_…." His voice trailed off. He had just noticed Sam's outfit.

She was wearing Melanie's leather pants – at least he hoped they weren't actually Melanie's leather pants.

"See something you like, Freddifer? I should hope not, unless you want me to gouge out your eyes with a spork…"

"Uh…umm…."

"Relax, Nub… they're mine..."

Freddie exhaled.

"Okay, good… otherwise that would've been weird. Can we go?"

"But… burrito!"

Freddie shot her a look. He could give a damn about her burrito.

"Whatever!"

Sam stuffed the remaining stump of her burrito into her mouth, stood up, and began walking with the Nub towards the elevator. Without thinking, he took her hand, massaging her palm with his thumb. She shot him a cold look.

"And what the Hell do you think you're doing?"

Freddie Benson flushed.

"Sorry… it's just… it's…"

"Relax… I'm just yanking your chain… You're not used to seeing me like this, so… yeah…"

This was astounding. The normal Sam Puckett would have beat his head into the elevator door until he relented.

_**DOWNSTAIRS…**_

They entered the _Snow's Jewelers_ on the lower level of the mall. The clerk descended on the couple like a shark moving in for the kill. He took one look at the clean-cut boy and the pretty blonde and jumped to what would otherwise be the most reasonable and logical conclusion.

"What can I show you?"

Owing to their nerves, both halves of the couple blurted out their answer in unison.

"Engagement rings…"

The sales clerk reminded Sam of Nevel Papperman, only masculine. He began to lead Sam towards a jewelry case, leaving Freddie in the care of a female coworker. It took a second, but it finally dawned on Sam that she was being led to a case containing _men's_ rings.

"Um... Why are you showing me _these?"_

The young man stared at her blankly.

"Well, you said you were interested in engagement rings…"

Sam flushed. She hated ignorant people. They always made _assumptions._

"What, and you thought I was with _THAT_?"

The young man continued to stare at her stupidly, trying to connect the dots, figure out where he'd gone wrong.

"Okay, Stub Rag… since Biology obviously isn't your strong suit, let me simplify it for you… If I'm not into guys, my other option is _what,_ exactly?"

He stood there, slack jawed. Sam was beginning to get pissed. She grabbed him by his jacket lapels. She was pissed and needed to make a point.

"Fine, listen… pass whatever value judgments you want on me and my relationship, but I am _NOT_ leaving here until my Cupcake has her ring! Let me make it _REALLY_ simple for you, okay? Platinum, princess cut, no less than a full carat, size six… _are we clear_?"

He gaped at her.

"And?..."

He stammered.

"I… I… didn't think you were serious…"

Sam was furious. She reached into the interior breast pocket of her leather jacket, withdrawing a bank envelope thick with bills. She let it fall onto the glass case with a thud.

"…As a heart attack. Now… MOVE!"

Sam knew there were precious few rings that would fit her demanding criteria. She retrieved her money and wandered over to find Freddie clutching a white gold band, tears falling from his eyes. She was instantly sympathetic. This boy – _this man_ – was going to be her family. She couldn't bear to see him hurt. Him hurting meant that Melanie would hurt. That was just a deal-breaker. That was simply a non-starter. She spoke to him without a hint of sarcasm in her voice. She spoke to him in what eerily sounded like Melanie's voice.

"Hey… what's the matter?"

Freddie did his best to regain his composure.

"I'm just short… and it's perfect…"

Sam gently pried the delicate ring from his clumsy, male fingers and slipped it onto her own ring finger. Yet another advantage of being a twin – she and Melanie were identical in every respect that mattered. She made a snap judgment. She looked to the girl behind the counter and gave her a stern, ice cold look, indicating that this wasn't even up for discussion.

"Bag it, tag it, and give me the bill…"

Freddie's jaw nearly hit the floor. He looked to her with warmth, longing, and love for the first time in his life. He truly didn't know what to say.

Sam cut him off. The trademark Puckett sarcasm was back. It warmed his heart to hear it.

"Listen up, Fredbag… by my count, I've cooked you dinner, loaned you a hundred bucks, and given you permission to have your way with my sister… so all I ask in return is that you make her happy, alright?"

Freddie looked into Sam's eyes – _Melanie's eyes_ – and asked a question of his own.

"Sam Puckett Legal Defense Fund?"

She could only smirk.

The young girl approached Sam with a receipt and matching bags. Sam passed over a wad of hundred dollar bills.

Handing over the bags, the tall brunette smiled at Sam.

"That was a very generous thing you did. Think you can handle the heavy lifting?" she asked, clearly referring to the thousands of dollars worth of jewelry now in Samantha Puckett's possession.

Sam wasn't stupid. She knew what she meant. She, in turn, glanced back at Freddie and smiled.

"He ain't heavy, he's my brother…"


	15. iCome to Jesus

**iCome to Jesus**

That Saturday began like any other Saturday morning in recent memory. The Shay, Puckett, and Benson families intermingled the way they usually did. Freddie Benson was asleep in Melanie's bed, as usual. Carly Shay was dead to the world. Sam Puckett, never a morning person, was pacing her kitchen, cell phone to her ear. She was doing everything in her power to keep her conversation hushed. She didn't want to wake her precious Cupcake or the pair of heteros sleeping directly above her head. She hadn't even heard her sister descend the stairs.

"Well, this really isn't about you! I wouldn't call if it wasn't important! Dammit! I'll be there…"

Frustrated, Sam ended the call, slamming her phone down on the kitchen counter.

Melanie was scared. It was her innate instinct to protect her sister, even if she was only the delicate little flower of the family. She took the remaining stairs at a bit of a run, ready to do whatever was needed. Sam was lucky Melanie was used to early work hours and was already fully dressed and ready to start her day. Melanie ran to her, ready and willing to do whatever was necessary to protect her only sister. She would throw herself in front of a bus for Sam, take a bullet for Sam, do _whatever must be done_ to pay back the mercy, compassion, and selflessness that Samantha had shown her as a child. Melanie reached for her sister, gently putting her hand on Sam's shoulder.

"Honey, can I do anything to…"

Sam rounded on her sister, visibly upset, still yelling.

"Back off, Princess! Mama's got this!"

Melanie jumped back, stammering an apology. She knew Sam absolutely didn't mean it, so there wasn't any use getting upset.

"Sam… can I…?"

"Melanie, _PLEASE!"_

"Samantha, whatever's going on, let me help you…"

"Mel, I said _NO! _What you _can_ do for me, Princess, is stay here and be with the rest of the family… I've got to go…"

Melanie was stunned. Sam didn't talk this way. It wasn't _'Carly' _or _'my Cupcake'_… Sam had specifically said _'the rest of the family'_.

Sam ran down the hallway. Melanie figured she was going to kiss sleeping Carly goodbye before heading off to deal with whatever had gotten her so whipped up. Instead, Melanie realized Sam had stopped short. She had heard the bathroom door slam followed by the sound of Sam getting violently sick. This lasted maybe a minute before she heard the toilet flush and the bathroom sink run. Melanie noticed that Sam's phone was still sitting on the kitchen counter. More out of concern for her sister's safety and wellbeing than the propensity for being nosy, Melanie went through Sam's phone. She would never violate her sister's privacy and personal space without a compelling argument, and right now, Melanie feared that her sister was about to do something reckless – something that had the hardened butch blonde so worked up that it had made her physically ill.

A quick glance at Sam's call list confirmed what Melanie already knew subconsciously.

"_Oh, no…"_ she thought.

Sam's most recent phone call – the call that had precipitated this whole ordeal – had been placed to their childhood home. Sam had called Pam.

Melanie snapped Sam's phone shut and replaced it as she had found it. Her sister emerged from the bathroom, locking eyes with Melanie as she entered the room.

"You okay?"

"Yeah…" Sam croaked, still hoarse. "it was… just… you know… a thing…"

Melanie knew all too well. _'Things'_ like this happened all too frequently when they were growing up. Melanie let it go. She immediately changed the subject, playing on Sam's emotions.

"How long are you going to be gone? If Carly wakes up and you're gone, you know she'll worry…"

Melanie hated drilling her sister for information, but she knew that her motives were pure.

"Mel, just tell Carls that I love her very much. I love you too… you and… _him_. If you tell him that, I'll deny it… I'll be home as soon as I can."

Sam pulled her older sister into a tight hug and kissed her on the cheek. It was the first time in ages that Melanie could remember Sam showing her that kind of affection. Nothing else mattered. Sam hugged Melanie tight before breaking their embrace.

Sam grabbed her leather jacket from the kitchen chair and bounded out the door. Her eyes told Melanie everything that she needed to know.

Once Sam had left, Melanie retrieved her own cell phone from the pocket of her hoodie and dialed the studio. A little white lie never hurt anyone, and she most certainly felt justified. Music would never come before her family.

"Hey Andy, it's Mel… Yeah… Can we push today's stuff back to Monday? I'm just not feeling up to coming in today… you know, _lady problems…_"

She hung up the phone, scribbled a note to Carly and Freddie on the notepad that always migrated throughout the kitchen, and grabbed her car keys from the kitchen table. She knew what she had to do.

_**A SHORT WHILE LATER…**_

Melanie watched from across the street as Sam walked up the front steps of the building that was their childhood home. The building itself wasn't bad, but it was easy to see why Sam had spent so many nights in Carly Shay's bed at the Bushwell Plaza just a few short miles away. She had done all she could to distance herself from this place. Melanie took a deep breath, pulled her hood over her head, and left the car, headed for her childhood home.

_**FIVE MINUTES LATER…**_

Melanie had reached the top of the third flight of stairs and now faced her mother's front door. She knew it was unlocked. Pam could never be bothered with the mundane details. She could already hear that things had gotten heated. In Sam's words, things had gotten _'fighty'_. Things had gotten real fighty, real fast.

"Why are you even _here_?"

"Well, _for starters_, you don't ever take my calls, and when you do, you curse me out or hurl insults at me! _Secondly_, we damn well need to talk…_Pam!"_

"About what? You can't even find a nice man… the only one who ever gave you the time of day you pushed away and left for your perfect little sister…"

Melanie'd heard enough. Summoning all the strength of the better angels of her nature, she threw open the door to her childhood home, ready to sacrifice herself for her sister. Hearing her mother speak that way to Sam was repugnant enough, but to have her denigrate the man that she loved tore it all. She crossed the threshold into the living room and unburdened her soul.

"Mother, I have absolutely _HAD IT! I'VE HAD ENOUGH!_ You absolutely _WILL NOT_ abuse her anymore! I warned you once…"

Sam was dumbfounded.

"You stupid, stupid, little girl… what part of _No_ was somehow bloody unclear?"

Melanie sniped at her sister, free of any animas. This was something unique to them. Only the Puckett sisters could have a _non-fight_.

"The part where you expected me to listen to you…"

"While you two are busy braiding each other's hair…"

Pam was obviously loaded. Sam had had enough. She grabbed her by the shoulders, ready to push her backwards, into the sofa, but resisted. She held her firmly, her fingernails digging into her mother's arms.

"I came here – _believe it or not_ – to ask you for a favor!"

Both Melanie and Pam were stunned. Pam had never once done anything for either of her girls without an ulterior motive. The notion of Pam doing something for Samantha out of the goodness of her heart sounded ridiculous. Sam choked down her words and began again.

"_M…Mom…_ Could you…do you think… pull yourself together and find something nice to wear? I wanted you to come to dinner with us tonight…"

Melanie, at her sister's side, went ashen. Where the hell was this coming from? Dinner? What was Sam talking about?

Even seeing her daughter genuine, Pam Puckett was defiant. The demons inside the bottle still held her.

"What? The three of us and your little _girlfriend?_"

Melanie was as upset as Sam was. She jumped into the fray before her sister could react.

"That was uncalled for, Mother… Sam loves her… which is more than I can say you've ever done…"

Sam was truly touched, but Melanie shouldn't have put herself on the line like that – not for her. She was meant to be the pure, innocent, perfect one.

"Melanie…"

"Mother, you need to realize that she's as much your daughter as I am... –"

"Mel…"

"It's just the way that she was born. She just loves _differently_ than I do…"

"Melanie – _SHUT UP!_"

Melanie was snapped back into reality by her sister's rebuke. She was instantly the quiet little girl at the back of class again. She spoke to her sister in a tiny little girl voice, barely above a whisper.

"Sorry, sis. I got a little carried away…"

Sam wanted to make things perfectly clear. She locked eyes with her mother. She wanted this to be it. She would say this only once.

"Look, Mom… She means the world to me. _Please_… come to dinner. I'm going to ask Carly Shay to marry me… Seven o'clock. Uncle Carmine knows the place."

Melanie was both stunned and ecstatic. She logically understood, but her brain hung up between the words _'Carly'_ and _'marry'_.

Sam didn't care. She needed to make sure Pam understood.

"Mom, I'm giving you one last chance. I'm not expecting anything, really. Just give me tonight. Just come and have dinner with us – nothing more, nothing less. Come have dinner and we can go from there, okay? Despite it all, I want you to know that I love you. I may not have to, but I love you."

Pam didn't say anything. She couldn't. She simply did what she knew how to do, the only thing that her brain would allow her to do. She took Sam's hand in hers and gave it a squeeze. It was good enough for Sam.

"Mel?"

Her sister made a tiny little sound, audible only to her.

"I'm still upset that you don't listen, but let's go home…"

Melanie beamed on the inside. She gave her mother a stern look. If she didn't show up tonight, she would lose both daughters. Melanie hoped her mother understood that. Without a word spoken between them, Melanie Puckett took her sister's hand in her own, squeezing it gently and leaving their mother there – alone in the apartment, with only her thoughts and memories to keep her company.


	16. iGet Made

**iGet Made**

Carly Shay was grumpy. She stomped out of the bathroom, hands on her hips, beautiful as ever. She was dressed to kill. This outfit was picked out at Sam's _'suggestion'_ for a dinner Carly knew nothing about. Sam had told her that it was just her attempt at a 'proper' double date, since Sam had singlehandedly derailed both of the couple's previous attempts to spend time bonding with Mel and Freddie, couple-to-couple.

Carly's dainty little black flats clicked against the hardwood floor.

"Don't you _'Cupcake'_ me, Samantha Puckett… Come back here and let me be mad at you!"

The pretty blonde laughed.

"And what makes you think you've got the right Puckett, Carly Shay?"

Carly felt slightly uneasy. This was an occupational hazard to living with identical twins. There were times when even Carly could barely tell them apart. After the slightest pause, the corner of Carly Shay's lip curled into a smile. Carly got playful.

"Well, first, only Sam would be devious enough to try to play the whole _twin _card on me right now… Second, Fingernails. Melanie wouldn't be caught dead without a good manicure… and Lastly, My Sam has a cute little birthmark right on her —"

Sam blushed, pulling the brunette into a hug.

"_ALRIGHT_ Cupcake… we don't need to broadcast that…"

Carly gathered a handful of blonde curls in her fist. When she did this, Sam was usually putty in her hands.

Not tonight.

"Bad! Bad Carls! Mama told you we have dinner reservations tonight…"

Carly, forgetting that Melanie could hear them upstairs, began spouting baby-talk at her partner.

"But Cupcake not wanna go to dinner, Mama… Cupcake wanna stay here with you… _all_.. _night_… _long_…"

Carly punctuated her sentence by tapping Sam's nose with the tip of her finger three times. Sam Puckett smiled, but held firm.

"I told you, Carls… dinner tonight with Freddie and Mel, no ifs, ands, or buts. If you want to discuss it, we can do that once we get home, okay, Cupcake?"

Carly's nose crinkled up the way Sam liked – the way that it did when Carly was amused.

"Wait… what? You're _scheduling_ a fight?"

Sam flashed a priceless toothy grin. She, for once, was playing the role of the adult.

"Not _'fight'_, Cupcake, _'mature adult discussion'_. If you want to discuss this, we'll discuss it after dinner, but as I've _already told you…"_ – Sam was using her mock-big girl voice now – "…this is not negotiable, so move your cute little tush. We're going to be late otherwise."

Sam shouted, so as to be heard on the second floor.

"Yo! Chop chop, Sweet Cheeks! We're going to be late!"

Upstairs, Melanie knew she should heed her sister's warning, but didn't want to. She was having too much fun of her own. Who could blame her? Her boyfriend cleaned up well and he was easy on the eyes as it was. She just wanted to melt into his arms, blow off dinner, and call it a night early.

Only she knew she couldn't. She knew what Sam had planned and she wasn't about to miss _that_ for the world.

Sam waited silently downstairs for another thirty seconds before calling back. This psychic thing that they had going worked both ways.

"MELANIE ELIZABETH PUCKETT! Get your tongue out of his mouth and get down here, Young Lady!"

Carly rebuked her.

"Samantha! Leave her alone!"

An awkward moment later, the other couple descended the stairs, looking embarrassed.

Sam smirked. She looked on her sister with a knowing smile and what – if Carly didn't know any better – she could have sworn was pride.

_**MOMENTS LATER…**_

The two couples piled in to Sam's car, the blonde taking the wheel. Freddie, of course, knew exactly where they were going, Sam having discussed it with them over a second burrito at _El Taco Guapo_ that day. Melanie, no doubt, could guess. It was imperative, at least in Sam's mind, to keep as many details as possible from Carly. She didn't particularly want to be secretive, but Sam applied the same formula to this as she did to the goings-on in their bedroom. _The more her little Cupcake didn't know, the better Sam was making it for her._

_**TWENTY MINUTES LATER…**_

The car pulled to a stop on the street outside a very posh looking restaurant in Pioneer Square. Sam, looking very dapper indeed in the outfit she'd worn on her first date with Carly, flipped the keys to the valet. She said something to the tall, olive-skinned young man that only he and Melanie understood.

"_Io sono nipote del Carmine_."

The color drained from the young man's face. Carly knew better than to ask. Sam, ever the gentleman, made her way to the passenger door. She opened the door, unhooked Carly's seatbelt, and scooped her into her arms, helping her to her feet. She loved Carly in this dress. This was precisely why Sam had insisted that she wear it tonight. It not only looked phenomenal on her, but it gave Sam the emotional strength and intestinal fortitude to do what she knew she must. Waiting for the other two, Sam took her partner's hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.

Now flanked by Freddie and Mel, the foursome proceeded to walk into the four-star establishment. Carly increasingly felt as though she was walking the red carpet at some celebrity gala. Whatever Sam had done, this was by far too much.

_**INSIDE…**_

The quartet was barely through the door when they were met by an older man, heavier set and balding, in a white dress shirt and black slacks. Carly was afraid. Freddie was terrified. Melanie remembered him from her childhood fondly. Sam simply beamed. The man threw both blondes into a meaty embrace and spoke to them as though their partners did not exist.

"_Samantha, Melanie! Ti Amo!"_

The old man drew them close, kissing them liberally on both cheeks. Melanie decided to speak for the both of them. While Sam was always _'just one of the boys'_, Melanie, if the old man had his way, was always his demure little princess. She spoke quietly, but loud enough so Carly and Freddie knew exactly what had just happened.

"We love you too, Uncle Carmine…"

Carly and Freddie locked eyes in abject terror. She spoke first, with the boy finishing their disjointed, manic thought.

"Carmine?"

"Uncle?"

The old man spoke to Sam first, this time in English, before speaking to the entire group.

"Everything is as you requested, Baby…"

"Everyone… You are all _famiglia…"_

Carmine nodded to a dark-haired young girl, quietly instructing her that this was the private party for whom they had spent the day preparing. She nodded dutifully, escorting the four down the hall to the private dining room.

Walking down the hallway, paying closer than usual attention to the dark wood and the old framed photographs, Carly Shay cursed herself. How could she have been so _goddamn stupid_? The restaurant was _Il Terrazzo Carmine_, one of Seattle's best-known Italian restaurants. How in God's name had she not made the connection the second she saw the sign out front?

They had just been ushered into the private dining room. The words _'intimate' _and _'opulent'_ didn't begin to describe it. A room that traditionally seated thirty had been rearranged to accommodate a party of seven.

Carly counted the place settings again.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven.

There were only four of them.

She was so busy counting silverware; her brain had not registered the faces of the other three dinner guests.

Spencer Shay, Marissa Benson, and Pam Puckett.

_Pam?_

Carly felt dizzy and sick. This didn't make sense.

Melanie and Freddie had taken seats opposite their respective mothers, leaving two chairs opposite Carly's big brother for them. Sam pulled out a chair, motioning for her lady to sit. The night was shaping up perfectly.

_**THREE FULL COURSES LATER…**_

The wait staff had just left, in preparation for dessert. Carly had been sipping absentmindedly on her iced tea when the haze of premature sleep lifted from her eyes. She had just realized that her big, strong, warm teddy bear of a girlfriend wasn't sitting next to her anymore. Her first instinct was to get frantic, but then she felt a strangely cold tickle on her bare legs.

Carly had been the last to notice, her mind checking off the places her beautiful, yet strangely handsome blonde could be. Everyone realized but her. Carly looked down to see Sam Puckett on the floor.

"_Oh no… What are you doing down there? Your pretty pants will get all dusty…" _Carly lectured her inside her own head.

Sam spoke, the words not registering. They sounded strange to her.

"_Carlotta, Io vi ho amati poiché prima che io possa ricordare. Fare la mia vita migliore semplicemente per una parte di esso. Vi sarà la mia moglie?"_

Carly blinked at her, dumbstruck. She knew her eyes had to be playing tricks on her. She looked to Melanie, the only other person in the room who she knew could translate for her.

"Mel?"

Nothing further needed to be said.

Melanie flushed and smiled, reciting the translation, as if from rote memory.

"She said she's loved you for as long as she can remember. You make her better by being a part of her life. She…"

Melanie choked up.

"She wants to know if you'll be her wife…"

It was only then that Carly noticed the shimmering ring in Sam's fingers.

"Oh my God! Yes, Sam, Yes… a million times yes, my God!"

She yanked the blonde to her feet, hugging the air right out of her. She let Sam sit back down. There would be plenty of time to thank her later. She wasn't about to embarrass the rest of the room with her unbridled, pent up emotion.

Sam sat next to Carly, her chest puffed out just slightly, full of pride. She nonchalantly smoothed her pants.

The room had fallen silent. This just wouldn't do.

Thankfully for Sam, the table had yet to be cleared. Carly saw it the second that Sam moved. She cursed her love under her breath.

"Dammit, Samantha! Don't you dare!"

"Hush, Cupcake… you don't understand…"

"You'll cause a scene…"

"Mama said hush!"

Carly couldn't stop her. Sam had grabbed a meatball and had hurled it at Freddie Benson. It struck him on the shoulder of his suit jacket.

"…_Just a bit outside…" _she thought.

Melanie's eye's narrowed to daggers, piercing her sister. She had never been more embarrassed.

It passed quickly. It was just the reminder that Freddie needed.

He reached into his jacket pocket and withdrew a white gold band adorned with a glittering array of diamonds. He hadn't even gotten the words out before she answered him.

"God, I love you… Absolutely… Yes…"

That was it. After months of planning, Sam Puckett had had the night of her dreams. They would all be family now.


	17. iCan't Sleep

**iCan't Sleep**

Carly Shay couldn't sleep. It was a quarter to five that Monday morning as she reluctantly pulled away from Sam. She didn't want to, but she knew that if she didn't, she wouldn't be able to sleep and potentially ran the risk of waking her honey up prematurely. She wanted to stay warm and safe in her arms, but she hadn't been able to sleep since Sam had given her that ring. This was just too intense. This was everything she had ever wanted in the entire world, but she had never expected it. Sam was proper and formal when you truly understood her, as Carly did, but the code of conduct that the Puckett family – Pam excluded – lived by never would have allowed for this. It was Sam's Uncle Carmine, of course, whose blessing the little blonde truly needed before any of this had been set in motion.

Carly planted a series of gentle kisses on the rugged, yet feminine fingers that held her close and slipped out of bed.

She had long since eschewed many of the girly things that Sam had become so used to. She liked it better now that there weren't drawers of _'Carly'_ things and _'Sam'_ things – it was now simply _'Our'_ things. Carly thought this was the best way. It was best that everything reflect how their life was – a complete contradiction in terms, a total mish-mash of the girly and the masculine. She quietly pulled on her bathrobe – white satin – and her fluffy pink bedroom slippers over her old Ridgeway t-shirt and a pair of Sam's boxers, plodding carefully to the door and out of the room.

The kitchen was surprisingly bright for that hour of the morning – not that Carly had expected otherwise. As she'd suspected she would, she found Melanie at the kitchen table, huddled over her traditional morning cup of tea. Carly took a seat directly opposite her future sister.

"Hi" Carly said, yawning.

"Can't sleep?"

Melanie knew exactly why not. It was the same thing that had her up even earlier than usual. Nerves. They both were sporting new jewelry and with it, they both knew, would come massive changes to both of their lives.

"_The more things change, the more they stay the same…"_ Melanie thought. The look on the brunette's face showed that she knew exactly what Mel was thinking.

"Will it always be like this?" Carly asked, not bothering to qualify the question. "…because I don't want to lose this…"

The blonde just smiled.

Without thinking any further about it, Carly reached out, taking the blonde's warm, dainty fingers in her own.

Melanie felt herself blush. The brunette broke the awkward silence between them.

"I can't believe this is happening… She wants to marry me?"

It sounded like a question, but it truly wasn't. A sculpted blonde eyebrow furrowed just the way that Sam's did when she was confused about something. On either girl, Carly thought it was absolutely adorable. Mel felt compelled to answer the brunette's foolishness.

"No offense Honey, but _are you stupid? _This day's been coming since we were eight years old. You and I both know that. You've always been her _'Little Cupcake'_; you know that, don't you? She used to call me at school three times a week… It was always _Carly_ this and _Carly _that. It was always _Carly, Carly, Carly_ with her. I swear, Darlin', I think she'd probably made up her mind about you by the time she was ten!"

Carly didn't know it was going to happen. The next thing she knew, warm tears were cascading down her cheeks. She wasn't weepy. Melanie had simply given voice to the most touching thought Carly could ever imagine – Sam had loved her, carried a blazing, white hot torch for her – nearly their entire lives.

She spoke up before Melanie could comfort her. Carly didn't need comforting. Everything she needed was cuddled snugly in her bed, twisted up into a blonde haired, blue eyed mess.

"Mel, can I ask you something? It's a stupid question…"

Melanie jumped in quickly, showcasing the fact that a razor wit ran in the Puckett genes.

"There are no stupid questions, Carly Shay… _only stupid people…_"

She flashed a sly, slightly lopsided smile. It was identical to the one Carly loved, except that Melanie had straighter teeth. Both girls smirked.

"_So…_ if I may, when did you realize exactly what you had with Freddie?"

Melanie immediately turned a god-awful shade of raspberry.

"_Turnabout is fair play, Sister Dear…"_ she thought. The notion that Melanie was about to become her honest-to-God sister was really starting to sink in and she absolutely loved it.

"Oh God… _Really, Carls? Really?_ You should know this…"

Even well before most of God's creation was awake, Melanie Puckett, true to her lineage, had decided to give Carly Shay a hard time simply for the sake of it.

The brunette shot her a coy look that simply seemed to say _'Well…?'_

Melanie was more caustic than Carly had seen her in recent memory – downright snarky. It was making Carly go all gooey.

"_Oh, Come off it, Carls!_ Who else would've told him that Sam hates stripes? And what did he wear that night? I rest my case!"

Carly had nearly forgotten.

"Well, in his defense, Sweety… he didn't know you existed."

Melanie would remember that night for as long as she lived. She was only back in town for three days at that point; barely enough time to get her body acclimated from the East Coast to the West. She wanted to spend every waking moment making up for lost time – that was, of course, until she met Freddie Benson. That changed everything.

Melanie loved every single second of that evening. She had grown to adore that boy, but that night, they were simply two awkward teenagers thrown together by circumstance. From the very first moment, she wanted to make beautiful music with him. He caused her heart to play Debussy's _Clair de Lune_ with her brain. He simply thought she was her sister. From the moment of their very first kiss, Melanie Puckett had become just like her mother – she was addicted.

She told Carly the details that only she knew. They were details that Carly probably didn't need, but could certainly appreciate. That first time she kissed him, she had literally seen stars. She knew right then that her childhood prayers were never in vain. There was a God. There was no other way – no coincidence, no happenstance, and no random chain of events – that could have put them together.

Carly found it the most touching story she had ever heard – at least since the last time Melanie had told her a story. She sat there at her kitchen table, contented and misty-eyed, secure in the knowledge that very shortly, three disparate families would be joined together into one large, somewhat unconventional family.

Both girls smiled.

Neither of them, in their wildest imagining, would ever want it any other way.


	18. iHead Downtown

**iHead Downtown**

The following week flew by. Everyone had their own irons in the fire, which seemed to conspire against them. When Sam wasn't in class, she was working. When Melanie wasn't recording, she was studying. Carly, in what precious little free time she had, had been paging through bridal magazines. She may not be a bride in anyone's _conventional_ sense, but she knew that Sam would be her beau from now until the end of time. Carly, of course, viewed her as her own wife, but Sam would never be the girly-girly type. She was simply more comfortable being the big, bad, blonde butch that she'd always been.

Carly's cell phone chirped. She checked it quickly, making sure that it wasn't the Colonel. She was relieved to see the Caller ID announcing young Freddie Benson, her future brother-in-law.

"Hey Freddie, What's up? No, she's not here; she's due to finish the album tonight, actually, why? YOU'RE WHAT? Your mother's going to _KILL YOU!_"

Carly took a deep breath.

"You… you…you…_OH, YOU'RE BEING SUCH A BOY!"_

Carly admonished him for thinking solely with his naughty parts, eliciting a groan from the otherwise gentle young man.

"Me? Oh, nothing… Just looking through wedding magazines. Thank you _so much_, by the way, for agreeing to do a joint ceremony with me and Sam… I can't tell you how much we appreciate it… Alright…_ I SAID ALRIGHT_! Geez, already dragging your sister-in-law into your marital drama…"

She heard the key click in the front door. She rushed Freddie off the phone.

"Okay, alright… can't talk now… text me and I'll get back with you, I promise! Okay, bye!"

The front door yawned open, welcoming Melanie Puckett home from her early morning jog around campus. This was a much more casual Melanie than Carly had seen in quite some time. For a split second, Carly mistook her for her partner.

"Hey Sweety, I… Oh, Mel, it's just you…" Carly was immediately crestfallen and beet-red with embarrassment. Melanie just blew it off with her typical bubbly laugh, a shake of her head, and a bright smile.

"Well, shucks, Carly Shay… don't be all excited to see me or anything…"

"Mel, you know it's not that... it's just…"

"It's just you wished I was my sister… Honey, I totally get it. Don't you ever be embarrassed. Did you see my little note?"

Carly nodded.

"Yeah, but I still don't get…"

"Shush, Cupcake… Call it a gift from me to you."

"Whatever…"

"Don't you '_Whatever'_ me, Missy…"

Carly rolled her eyes.

"Are you sure about this, Mel?"

She cast Carly a sidelong, serious look.

"Do you trust me? Have I ever steered you wrong?"

"No, but…"

"No buts, Cupcake… now give me a minute to get myself more put-together, and we'll be off, okay?"

Carly wasn't a hundred percent sure about this, but she _did_ trust Melanie's judgment. If Melanie was sure about this and was willing to help her give Sam the _perfect_ wedding ring, this was something she was willing to go out on a limb and do.

Melanie slipped on her black leather jacket over the Seattle Cobras t-shirt she'd _'borrowed'_ from Sam and zipped it up. Were it not for the blonde braid falling midway down her back, Carly would have jumped into her arms and kissed her, swearing this to be Sam.

Melanie could read her sister's partner, her childhood friend, like a book.

"I've seen that look before, Carls… do I need to show you my driver's license to remind you which Puckett I am?"

Carly flushed bright crimson.

"Melanie! God!"

Melanie Puckett laughed.

"Just sayin', Cupcake… Ready to go?"

"Yeah…"

Carly got up from the sofa, grabbed her purse off the coffee table, and followed her sister-in-law out the front door.

_**FORTY-FIVE MINUTES LATER…**_

Carly and Melanie left the car and wandered into a small, out-of-the-way storefront in one of the many buildings a stone's-throw from the water. The interior was dark, despite the fact that it was late morning. The tall, olive-skinned man behind the counter was no older than Carly's brother, Spencer. He looked up from a glass case the minute he heard the two girls enter the shop. Carly Shay wasn't quite so sure about this after all.

"By appointment only!" he shouted.

The voice that answered him, like a ninja out of the dark, nearly stopped his heart. It was matter-of-fact and ice cold. It belonged to Carmine Puckett's eldest niece.

"Hello, Donnie… Funny thing is, I could've sworn we _had_ an appointment…"

"I don't work for little girls… leave now…"

The pair crossed in front of the shop's main window. Albeit badly in need of a wash, the sunlight illuminated their faces. The young Italian audibly gasped. He recognized her. This little girl was the Boss's niece. He spoke to her in Italian. She ignored him. Carly whispered to Melanie.

"Honey, I don't know that this is such a good idea…"

Melanie waved her off.

"_Questo è Carlotta, Samantha l'amico_."

The young Italian turned up his nose at her, as though something about the pretty brunette had just turned his stomach. The color drained from Carly Shay's face. She was getting more and more uneasy.

"Melanie…"

"Shhh, Cupcake… I'm working here…"

Melanie had about all she was going to take from this two-bit hood. It was true that her dearest uncle lived outside of the law, however, the fact remained that this young man still worked for him.

"_Voi ci comporteremo? Non rispetterai il mio zio Carmine_?"

Melanie reached for her cell phone and pressed a button. Her bluff worked. He was afraid she would dial. He knew to hold his tongue. This girl, though barely a hundred pounds soaking wet, he knew, would be his undoing. This mere child, he was acutely aware, held his life in her slender, manicured fingers. When she spoke, she spoke for the Boss. One word from her, and he would be at the bottom of Elliott Bay.

He stuttered at her in accented, broken English.

"No…no… of course not… no… no disrespect… "

He took her hand in his and lifted it to his mouth, kissing the ring that announced her impending wedding to young Freddie Benson.

"I thought not…. _NOW,_ given that we understand each other… from what I was told, you are to design the jewelry we ask for… quickly, without complaint, and at my uncle's usual price, _Yes_?"

It was clearly not a question.

"Yes… of course… for you… your family… anything… yes ma'am…"

"Good boy. Now what we need is a ring. Everything is here."

Melanie opened her purse and handed the young man a detailed drawing she had done. Carly had come up with the idea and Melanie had translated English into Italian, the tongue her sister loved so much.

The young jeweler looked it over, assured the young women that it would be completed well ahead of schedule, apologized for any _'misunderstanding'_, and bade them good day.


	19. iAm All Alone

**iAm All Alone**

The girls enjoyed the rest of their day together before other obligations yanked the other precious blonde in her life away from Carly. She knew that tonight would be it. After this evening, they could enjoy something of a normal life together for a while – whatever _'normal'_ was. Melanie had to put the finishing touches on the album tonight, something that had been months in the making. As much as Melanie wanted it to be absolutely perfect, it was Carly who reminded her that that was an impossibility.

"Perfection is relative, Honey… It's all about your perception. Just be happy with each individual track. It'll never be perfect…"

Melanie shot Carly a dismayed, pouty look.

"How do you mean?"

"Well, _honestly_, Honey… it's because you're you. You try so hard to make things perfect… It's not that it's a bad thing, it's just, you know, the way you work. Don't try so hard. It'll all be okay…"

Melanie smirked, knowing that her sister's pretty little brunette was right. She knew she tried too hard. This was simply a byproduct of her upbringing. Life spent as Pam Puckett's firstborn, her pride-and-joy, was a bit akin to being toilet trained at gunpoint. It taught her that she needed to be perfect – that she needed to bring her _'A'_ game at all times. She didn't want to think about her mother now – she had hurt Sam too much – but had instilled in her, albeit unintentionally, the values and work ethic that she knew would make her a star. She would, of course, take her three precious angels along for the ride. Those three, before anyone else, had believed in her steadfastly enough to give a scared, broken little girl the confidence in her own abilities to reach for the stars. Melanie would never forget it. Slipping on her leather jacket, she leaned in close to Carly Shay. It took the pretty brunette by surprise. She wondered if maybe Melanie had forgotten who she was this time, rather than the other way around.

"I'll only be gone a couple of hours, Carls… I'll probably be back around ten. Don't wait up on my account…"

She leaned close and planted a small kiss on Carly's cheek. It was totally and completely innocent – Carly knew this. The image, however – the fact that this girl was created in the exact image and likeness of the woman who shared both Carly's life and her bed – gave her a case of the warm fuzzies. She simply hugged the little blonde. Anything further would cause all holy hell to break loose.

"I won't… Go on… Go become famous…"

Melanie blushed. Leave it to Carly Shay to say something so perfectly adorable. She understood completely why her sister loved her.

_**TWO AND A HALF HOURS LATER…**_

A big empty house left Carly Shay's idle hands and wandering mind with a lot of time to kill. She'd written out what she saw as the perfect wedding. She and Sam had agreed to parcel out certain aspects of their wedding to each other. Carly had agreed to handle everything Sam considered _'too girly'_. She knew Sam too well. Sam loved the idea of Carly as the sweet, downy little innocent girly girl. It allowed Sam to view herself as Carly's Knight in Shining Armor. This, of course, wasn't far from the truth. Samantha Puckett was – biologically – very much female, but she preferred to be something akin to androgynous. She wanted to be her Cupcake's Love and nothing more.

Carly knew the notion of seeing Sam in a wedding dress was a non-starter. It was a zero-sum game. Sam had made it clear to Carly exactly what she would wear on their wedding day. She would wear the very same outfit as she had on their first date. Sam was intent on recapturing the emotion of that moment, Carly knew. She turned the pages of yet another bridal magazine, playfully cursing out her precious lover inside her head.

"_Damn you, Samantha… why must you be so goddamn stubborn?... Oh Hell! I love you anyhow!"_

Carly was beyond thankful that Freddie called, breaking up the monotony of the quiet house. They chatted warmly for about a half hour, Carly figured. They wound up discussing the weddings. She thought it was wonderful that Freddie and Sam had finally made peace – her beautiful blonde had even agreed to serve as Freddie's Best Man, such as it was. It truly was a lovely conversation. Freddie was a truly wonderful person. Carly felt a twinge of regret pull at her heart tonight. She regretted some of the stupid decisions she'd made when they were all at Ridgeway together – three of them, anyway. She was thankful she and Sam had helped him and Melanie find one another. They would be family now. This eased her heart. This absolved her sadness. They would always be together now. She was still sorry, however, that he had ever been her Bolivian Bacon.

She told him so. She couldn't say it outright – not in those words – but she knew that he knew.

_**HOURS LATER…**_

Carly had fallen asleep in the recliner, the TV on, her grandmother's quilt pulled up to her chin. Melanie was sacked out, sprawling this way and that, on the sofa. Her job was done. Months in the making, her debut CD, _Mythical_, was due out just before Christmastime. She had decided on the title as a nod to her man. By the time the album was out, she would be spoken for – having made an honest man out of her beautiful little _cukey_ tech boy. She thought it was perfect. She had decided to leave some of what she considered to be the harsher tracks – recorded in moments of anger and directed at her mother – off the album. Samantha had made her peace with the woman. Melanie needn't air their business for the entire world to hear.

Sam Puckett picked the lock of her own home, afraid that her keys would make too much noise and wake the Cupcake. It had been a long night. She was achy and tired. Her clothes were dirty and rumpled. All she wanted now was to crawl into bed with Carly and feel complete.

She tiptoed through the dark house. She _was_ a ninja. Her sister was a hot mess on the sofa. Carly, for her part, reminded her of a character from a storybook. She was Sam's little Baby Bear, who had seemingly found a bed that was _'just right'_.

Reaching the recliner, Sam leaned in close, whispering softly in her partner's ear.

"_I love you…"_

It was obvious Carly Shay was still off in Dreamland.

"_No… No… I can't…. Sammie'd be mad at me…"_

The blonde beamed. She began unbuttoning her work shirt until it fell wide open down the front, exposing her taut muscular stomach. She scooped the sleeping girl into her arms, quilt and all. What she had in mind now was too urgent for even their bedroom. The _iCarly_ studio was closer and it had big, cushy beanbags on the floor. That'd do. She felt awful that she'd let things get this far, but she simply had gotten busy being Sam.

The only plus to moments like this was that the sense of urgency allowed the torch she'd always carried for Carly to burn hotter and brighter than normal. It was going to be a long, sleepless night. It would be exactly what Sam and Carly both needed.


	20. iFace The Past

**iFace The Past**

The next morning was bright, warm, and unseasonably beautiful. Melanie had let them sleep as long as she could. She was doing her very best to be discreet. She heard bare naked feet on the wood floor behind her. She was busy with breakfast and always wanted to treat them with kid gloves.

She could tell by the sound of the footfalls that those naked feet closest to her belonged to Carly. Was that weird? She didn't think so. Maybe it was the twin thing, but she was so in tune to Sam's bio-rhythms – they were so similar to her own – that anything outside of the norm was easily identifiable. Melanie loved them both so very, very much. She didn't want to be cruel, but she most certainly had her sister's biting sense of humor at times. She turned to face the couple. They were unkempt and barely dressed. Melanie's tone was soft, sweet, and lilting.

"Well, _Good Morning you two…_ looks like someone had a good night's Not Sleep…"

Carly's face burned with embarrassment. She wasn't upset at Melanie – not at all. She was upset at herself for not showing restraint. She felt like a stupid little girl.

"Oh my God…"

Sam stared at her sister. If looks could kill, Melanie would have two perfect holes bored into her skull.

"So…_VERY_… not… cool… Princess…"

Melanie smirked at her sister.

"Honey, need I remind you? I'm a singer, not a general contractor… Those walls are _not_ sound-proof… _so_ very not sound-proof, I might add…"

She shot Carly a look. The red-faced brunette softened slightly. Melanie could see a slight smile curling the corner of her mouth.

"Look, it's none of my business…"

Sam interjected.

"Goddamn right it's not…"

Carly spoke in a weak voice.

"Sam…."

Melanie playfully tousled Carly's chocolate locks.

"Sweety, I didn't mean… I'm sorry…"

Carly just hugged her, wrapping her arms around Melanie's midsection.

"It's not you… It's…well… it's complicated, Mel…"

Melanie looked to her sister, clearly expecting an apology. One wasn't forthcoming. Carly attempted to lecture her partner, but she was simply still too sleepy. She spoke in such a soft voice that it was just too adorable.

"Sa…mmm…" she yawned.

Sam's eyes met Melanie's. She couldn't contain herself. She burst out laughing.

Melanie let it pass.

"Okay, so who wants pancakes?"

_**AFTER BREAKFAST…**_

Carly Shay exited the bathroom to find herself alone in the house. She was greeted by a note, torn from a yellow legal pad, sitting squarely on the kitchen table.

* * *

_**Carls,**_

_**Out with Mel. Back about lunchtime. I'm so sorry for this morning.**_

_**I love you,**_

_**Sam**_

* * *

Carly knew she had nobody to blame for this morning's embarrassing little debacle but herself. If she hadn't found Sam so… so… _Sam_… God, this is exactly why Carly wanted to put their Alone Time on the calendar, just like Sam's appointment at the dentist next week. If their time was on the calendar like anything else, she wouldn't have all this pent-up tension that made her insane and Sam wouldn't have taken her down like she was a ham. This was simply her lot in life. It had finally become obvious. More than a decade into their friendship and life together, it had become apparent that her beautiful girlfriend – whom Carly wanted to take forever as her spouse – was completely out of her mind. She would have it no other way.

_**ACROSS TOWN…**_

"Samantha, _honestly_… You are being absolutely _impossible_!"

Sam was standing on the corner of Broadway, all dressed up with no place to go. Melanie pulled at her butch little sister by the wrist.

"Samantha… need I remind you that this was _your_ idea, Honey?"

Sam knew damn right well that it had been her idea. She was, however, the Anti-Sam. She was a terrified little girl.

"Mel... I... I… I _can't!_"

"Sam, exactly how long has it been since you've had a conversation with God, _may I ask_?"

Sam Puckett believed, although she'd fallen away somewhat since she and her sister were small. She most certainly had talked to God, but she wasn't about to tell her sister about those fleeting moments on the roof of Bushwell Plaza, when she was certain she would lose her Cupcake forever. That was more than she could bear. She remembered scrambling to the brink of oblivion, grasping Carly's wrist, and asking God for something for the first time since childhood.

"_Please, I can't lose her..."_

Sam was lost in her memory for a moment, until her sister brought her back.

"Sam? Did you hear me?"

"Mel, I haven't… I haven't been back _here_… you know… _in there_... since we were seven… It's just _strange_…"

Melanie knew that her sister was at peace with her beliefs. She knew that Sam acknowledged the Creator of All That Was in her own way. She knew that Sam believed. It wasn't a matter of belief. This was a matter of seeing _Him_ again, after everything that had transpired. Melanie still loved him and she knew that her sister, deep down in her heart of hearts, felt the same. She pulled her sister toward the door of All Pilgrims Church, forcing her, very butch yet very proper, in shirt and tie, through the door. There was no turning back now.

"Samantha, he'll want to see you! He hasn't seen you since…"

Sam barked at her, keeping her tone hushed. She attempted to show as much respect for the building and its purpose as she could.

"I'm well aware of how long it's been, Melanie! This man could've been _our father_!"

_Ah, there it was._ This was the real reason Samantha had never come down here since childhood. She equated the building and its purpose with the man and what he did there. It was a constant reminder of how badly Pam Puckett had screwed up. Coming back to this place, even so many years after the fact – for such a noble purpose – having this man who meant so much to the both of them officiate their respective weddings – tore Samantha Puckett up inside, no matter how much he still meant to her. It was then that she heard his voice and saw those same warm eyes looking on the both of them, this time as grown women.

"Well, my, my, my! The Lord certainly does work in mysterious ways… What was lost seems to have found its way home again… Hello there, Melanie… Samantha…"

Sam took her sister's hand tightly. He was right. It did feel like they had come home again.


	21. iGet Cold Feet

**iGet Cold Feet**

Sam Puckett was disgusted. She was disgusted with herself and with the situation in general. Her rational mind told her that there had been no reason whatsoever to fear going to that place this morning, as she had last week, speaking to that wonderful man again, this time as an equal. She was no longer a scared little girl who had no idea who or what she was or where she fit in the universe. The feelings that she had so struggled with when he first knew her – as the smallest of children – were now engrained with absolute clarity in her mind. She was now an adult, capable of forming her own thoughts, making her own choices, and articulating her own desires, irrespective of what anyone else thought, wanted, knew, or believed.

It was not as though she was seeing him today for the first time in ages, but it was no less of a shock to see him there – to see him _that way._ He had been a part of her life for so very long, but she never once allowed herself to see him as the man that Pam let get away. He was never the man who had first taught Sam to tie her own shoes. He wasn't the one who tucked Sam and Melanie in at night, once the inquisitive energy of childhood had ebbed away. She never allowed herself to see him as the man who might well have become the only father she and Melanie had ever known. Sam simply viewed him as a wonderful man who kept popping up on the periphery of her life, always when she needed him. He was, until recently – until she and the Nub had made peace – the man that proved to her that the entire species wasn't worthless. He reminded her that they _could _be trusted.

Carly sat at the foot of the recliner, her head between Sam's knees. Sam hadn't been talking to her so much as talking _at_ her. Carly's nose was still firmly in the bridal magazine she'd been reading.

She playfully bit her partner's bare right foot, stopping momentarily to plant a tiny kiss on one of her toes. Sam was simultaneously disturbed and amused.

"Eww, gross, Carls… really?"

"Oh, shush… I've done worse!"

She flashed a devious smile. Sam laughed. This was exactly what she needed. She was now and would always be Carly's gallant protector – her knight in shining armor – but tonight, she felt herself crumbling to bits under the weight of what tomorrow would bring.

She knew that most of this was simple, antiquated superstition, but her people had always been about antiquated superstition. She was breaking tradition by spending the night with Carly. Melanie had cried herself into a red, puffy mess earlier, saying _'goodnight'_ to a telephone brought back the loneliness and fear of her time in California. Sam, in her own loving way, had told her big sister that she was being stupid and that she needed to _'man up'_. Melanie had stomped off to bed in a huff. Throwing a big-girl tantrum seemed, by far, preferable to a fight with her sister on the eve of their weddings. Both Pucketts were feeling the exact same way, but they were simply wired differently. Where Melanie would stamp her feet, kick, scream, and cry, Sam would simply brood silently until all hell broke loose.

After running all over Seattle today, making sure everything was as close to perfect as possible, Sam was physically and emotionally exhausted. Things _needed_ to be absolutely perfect. While most of her generation was ambivalent towards commitment, it seemed, Sam saw a much bigger picture. While her classmates could marry and divorce until they felt they'd gotten it right, Sam had only one chance to catch lightning in a bottle. She knew two things. She knew, beyond all doubt, that Carly Shay was the one for her. It had simply been preordained that way. Despite having known this to be true since childhood, Sam was a bundle of nerves. She was a victim of dysfunction. She never knew what it was like to have the life that most of her peers took for granted. She knew that they all had it pretty good; they were fairly well-off, compared to the world that she knew. While those other kids in her classes were children of divorce, she had never known what it felt like to have a father. The closest she had ever come was her new brother-in-law, Spencer Shay, the Idiot Man-child.

Sam had spent the day spending more money than she'd ever seen. She was spending money that wasn't truly hers to spend. She had spent close to three thousand dollars today on frivolities. She had burned through money on things she truly didn't need, but that Uncle Carmine had insisted on providing just the same. The old man had taken on as much of a fatherly role to both his nieces as he could. He was no role model, but that didn't mean he didn't love them with all that he had. Throwing around his money was simply what Carmine Puckett knew how to do. If that would make their lives easier, so be it.

As much as she appreciated the brand new suit and silver Movado watch, Sam knew that the suit she already owned was her only choice. That had history. Removing it from their closet today, Sam could still smell Carly on it. The jacket, her shirt, the slacks, and even her tie smelled so deliciously of Cupcake. Sam gave in to her own stupid, selfish impulses. She drew the jacket close and inhaled. She could still smell the odd mix of strawberry, coconut, and pineapple that had come to personify Carly in Sam's mind.

Sam's mind was jolted back out of the clouds. Carly had just bitten her big toe.

"Oww, Cupcake! that hurt Mama!"

Carly smiled at her smugly.

"Well, next time, try paying attention when your wife is talking to you, Samantha…"

Carly was on her feet now, nose-to-nose with Sam.

Sam felt drunk. There was no way in Hell that she'd just heard what she'd thought she'd heard. She just smiled at Carly, the same beautiful, slippery, toothy grin that Carly had loved for years.

"My _what?"_

Sam reached for Carly's ribs, tickling her furiously. Carly Shay erupted into a peal of joyous laughter. It soothed Sam's heart, particularly since the past few days had been so hectic; the past seventy-two hours had been so crazy that Carly felt like she and Sam were back in high school – no longer partners, but simply roommates.

Sam pulled the giggling brunette to her, kissing her forehead.

"I love you, Carls…"

Carly could barely get the words out, her breath catching in her chest.

"I... love… love you… too…"

Carly's phone vibrated on the coffee table across the room. Sam knew who it was. _The Colonel_. He had called four times already tonight, incessantly trying to speak to his only daughter.

"Uh, Cupcake?"

"Let it go to voicemail. He hasn't spoken to me in a year. He wants to talk to me now? I'll be a bridezilla, I swear to goodness…"

Sam laughed, playfully shoving Carly in the shoulder.

"Come on, Mama… Carly thinks it's bedtime. We have a big day ahead of us tomorrow…"

Sam couldn't agree more. Without a second thought, she scooped Carly Shay into her arms, carrying her off to their bedroom for the last time as a single woman.


	22. iDo, Times Two

**iDo, Times Two**

It was four-thirty on Saturday afternoon and every member of the combined Shay-Puckett household seemed to be losing their minds, all to varying degrees. Melanie, fresh off a sleepless night without Freddie, was pacing the front hallway in a traditional, flowing white dress, flapping her hands at the wrist and muttering to herself.

"OmiGod… OmiGod… OmiGod… OmiGod…"

Her future sister-in law paced nervously a few feet away, chewing her lower lip. She was grumbly.

"God, I hope they show up…"

Sam adjusted her tie in the bathroom mirror, standing askew, half in the hallway, half in the bathroom.

"Oh Sweet Mother of Chizz, _do shut up!_"

Two pairs of eyes locked on her – one blue, one brown. Sam blushed.

"I said that out loud just now, didn't I? Not you, Cupcake… Mel, I stand by what I said."

Sam smirked. She didn't care how she came across. Within the hour, Carly Shay would be Missus Sam Puckett. That was all that mattered.

Melanie stomped around as heavily as she could, trying to take out her frustration on the floorboards. Carly had no idea why she wore those boots on this day, of all days. She muttered to herself. Sam was too focused on Melanie to hear, but the Good Twin thought she heard everything, clear as a bell.

"…_might… gotta change my name…"_

The corners of Melanie's eyes glistened with the beginnings of tears. This was the one time in all her life where she hoped Sam couldn't read her thoughts.

"_Welcome to the family, Honey… I love you so much…"_

_**MEANWHILE, AT BUSHWELL PLAZA…**_

Freddie Benson was a half-hour away from his wedding and he thought that he was going to die. He coughed, choked, and could barely see.

"MOM!"

Marissa Benson stood behind him, hitting him with another blast from the spray bottle.

"Well, who gets married outdoors at this hour of the day? You could get ticks!"

The grown-up tech boy had finally had enough. He put his foot down.

"Lots of people, and I won't get ticks! Have I ever once had _a_ tick, let alone multiple ticks?"

He knew she loved him, and he her, but he knew what had to be said. He needed to state the obvious.

"Look, I get it… I know you worry… and you're a little… well… _eccentric_… but it's time you handed off the tick spray and the first aid kit to Melanie, Mom… it's time to let her worry about me."

His mother heard _'Melanie'_ and completely tuned out everything else her son had said.

"Speaking of the little blonde angel… people in her line of work… they tend to live… large… don't they?"

Freddie had no idea what in the hell the woman was playing at, but he went with it just the same.

"Uh, yeah, I guess so… why?"

"Good, then there'll be plenty of room for your mother…"

He certainly wasn't opposed to the idea, simply because he knew Melanie wouldn't be. She was all about family. It was everything to her. She already knew what she wanted out of life and he was blessed that she had chosen to share her life with him. He knew he'd see her soon enough, but he longed for her just the same. He pulled away from his mother, tired of her fussing over his suit jacket, and headed for the door.

He literally ran into Spencer in the hallway.

"Easy there, Freddo… it's usually the brides that run away…"

He knew Spencer was joking.

"Yeah, maybe… but they don't have _that_ for a mother…" he said, gesturing toward the door of the apartment.

Spencer laughed. The kid had a point. Freddie gave him a once-over. This wasn't the Spencer Shay that he knew. The Spencer he knew was splattered in paint, loved smoothies and spaghetti tacos, and was prone to causing minor disasters. This was Spencer Shay, Attorney at Law. He was actually wearing a suit, and not the one that was five sizes too small, having served him well in his seventy-two hour legal career. Freddie knew that the new suit, jet black, had to have set Spencer back a few hundred bucks minimum. He glanced down and stopped cold. Spencer's socks were fluorescent pink – and blinking.

"Dude, Really?"

"Well…" Spencer stammered, trying to sound dignified, "One does want a _hint_ of color…"

_**A SHORT WHILE LATER, IN THE LOBBY…**_

The trio made their way through the lobby, Freddie and Spencer's dress shoes squeaking on the freshly waxed floor, drawing the ire of Lewbert, the worst doorman in the history of the Bushwell Plaza, if not in all of doormanity. He shrieked unintelligibly at Spencer, something about his floor and the shoe noise upsetting his wart. Spencer shrieked back at him, just as his little sister would. He couldn't be bothered with Lewbertish asininity. He had two weddings to attend.

_**NEARBY…**_

Carly, Sam, and Melanie walked through the park, a gentle breeze blowing through the trees. Carly was elated. This was the wedding that she had wanted – with the groom she had dreamed of – since she was a tiny little girl. She was finally able to venture far enough back in her mind's eye, emotionally allowing herself to remember her mother, a full two years before she had become Carly's personal guardian angel. She immediately remembered the first day she brought Sam home to meet her parents. She wanted her parents to love Sam so badly. That day, after Sam had left, she was in her bedroom, listening to the hushed tones of her parents' _'discussion'_ in the kitchen, thanks to the Colonel's voice carrying through the ductwork.

"_I don't like her… she picks a fight, and suddenly she's her new best friend?"_

"_Oh, Steven… PLEASE… they're little girls… sometimes… sometimes a mother just knows, and just trust me, they're good together…"_

"_She doesn't seem… I don't know… a little __butch_ _to you?"_

Carly remembered the sound of her mother slapping the Colonel for using that word. She had put so much out of mind. There was so much she had tried to forget. There was so much she needed to remember, especially now, of all days.

Carly crossed the park, her love on one arm, her twin on the other. They reached the gazebo at the far end of the park, near the swings. Freddie was already standing there, looking ever so proper. The minister, chosen by Sam without Carly's input, stood, with his back to them, lost in his own contemplation. Carly felt a chill run up her back. She had no idea whether it was real or a product of her overactive, jittery mind. She noticed the folding chairs that had been set up for their few guests begin to fill up. She could have been married in a cathedral in front of a congregation of ten thousand, but ten people in folding chairs was all Carly Shay ever wanted. They had simply cared enough to bear witness to Carly giving herself over to Sam Puckett, heart, mind, body, and soul.

Gibby and Tasha had brought Guppy. Uncle Roger and Carmella were there, along with the wedding party, such as it was – Spencer, Mrs. Benson, and Pam. Wendy was just making her way to her seat now. Carly noticed that Wendy was holding hands with someone – someone Carly knew very well. Sam would not like this one bit.

She spoke up, trying to get the older man's attention.

"Thank you so much for doing this…"

The older man turned to face the couples. Carly and Freddie looked as though they'd seen a ghost. Sam Puckett fought to suppress a smile.

"You?"

Carly meant to be respectful, but her mouth was working ahead of her brain.

Ted Franklin couldn't help but chuckle.

"Unless you'd rather someone else perform this ceremony…"

The words spluttered from the brunette's mouth.

"No…no…no…no, of course not… I just… surprised…"

Freddie Benson let his hand drift into the small of Melanie's back. He was bound and determined to make this introduction himself, as suave as he could.

"This is…"

Ted Franklin interrupted him.

"You look beautiful, Melanie…"

Half of the wedding party stood there, mouths agape. Melanie, her face reddening, spoke up demurely.

"We go back a long ways… Ted and Mom…"

"I really don't think we came here to discuss ancient history…" Franklin was polite, yet stern. There would be time to go into that later, if they so desired.

Franklin collected his thoughts, quieted the assembled guests, and began to speak. It was clear that he was making this up as he went along. He loved and respected all parties concerned. He was striving to hit all the right notes, with as neutral a ceremony as he could deliver.

"Love is a great many things. Perhaps above all, love is malleable, always changing. It comes in many shapes and forms. Love stands the test of time, spanning years." He looked squarely at Carly Shay. "…While also sneaking up on us at the most random moment, taking the form of the ones we least expect…" It was clear he was addressing Freddie Benson.

While it was his mission to join two couples together separately, he knew he was actually joining three separate families together as one.

"We're all here, friends and family alike, to take four individuals and join them together into one family…"

Spencer was already crying. Somewhere in the crowd, Carly heard Wendy's new girlfriend sobbing. This was the last thing she had ever expected – it was unheard of for Shelby Marx.

"It is our responsibility – as a community – to support them each and every day. It is our responsibility to rejoice with them, support them in times of trial, and mourn with them. Now, what's left is to hear what they have to say for themselves…"

Nothing about this service was conventional, and Ted Franklin saw this as the opportunity to give each couple their own dignity – allow them to speak from the heart.

"Carly Shay?"

Her throat was instantly dry, a lump knotting up her vocal chords. Tears streamed down her face as, in her mind, she was eight years old again, explaining to her mother that she was in love, and that the pretty blonde made everything – the mixed up, awkward feelings in her heart – make sense.

"Samantha… You are… you're everything to me. It's always been a series of firsts with us, but now I want it to be a series of _onlys_ . I will always be yours if you will always be mine…"

Thinking of her mother, Carly bowed her head, crying softly.

"Samantha Puckett?"

Sam spoke, nervous, yet cool, in Italian. She finished, squeezing Carly's hand gently, repeating herself in English.

"Carls, you've always been there for me. You've been my better half since before I can remember. You are my everything."

By this point, there was barely a dry eye among them. Franklin turned his attention to the more conventional bride.

"Melanie?"

The pretty blonde took a deep breath, first speaking to no one in particular.

"Whoa… how do I follow that? Freddie… I wouldn't be here, truly, if it weren't for Carly, Sam, and your adorable gullibility…"

She laughed, in on a joke that only the four of them got.

"…you're amazing… you make me better than I could ever be on my own… and for that, I love you…"

She sniffled as Freddie's eyes met hers.

"Melanie Elizabeth Puckett… You are the best thing in my world, you're more than I ever could hope for… you make my life better just by being a part of it… and I know that if I lived for a thousand years, I couldn't ever find the words to adequately tell you how much I love you."

Kisses were had, rings were exchanged, but without much pomp or circumstance, four hearts had become one. By the power vested in him by the State of Washington and those assembled witnesses, Ted Franklin blessed their unions and sent them forth to love one another and begin their lives together.

Walking away sniffly and puffy-eyed, Carly greeted the first of their guests – Gibby, Tasha, and Guppy. The tall girl lectured the little boy in a hushed voice.

"…not birthday, Gup…"

The little boy looked into watery chocolate eyes and offered her the bouquet he'd brought for her.

"Happy?"

Carly giggled.

"Yes… Yes…. Very, very happy, Gup.."

Carly, her wife, and the rest of the extended Shay-Puckett-Benson family walked together, arm-in-arm into the early evening, just steps from the swings where they used to play as children.


	23. iCelebration

**iCelebration**

The two couples walked hand-in-hand with one another, playfully chatting between them as what they always had been – the very best of friends. The pretty blonde turned to her new sister and spoke, breaking into a childlike laugh.

"Carly, this is just too surreal! We're really family now…"

"I know, right? It's just… awesome…"

Carly Shay felt lighter than air. The entire world now made sense. All she wished was that her parents – her mother specifically – could have shared the most joyous day of her life with her. Her fingers absentmindedly flew to her neck, the silver pendant cool against her skin. She felt tears come again. Sam was immediately big and strong, giving her hand a firm squeeze.

Melanie spoke again, this time to her sister.

"…and _you… _now you're related to _my man_…"

Melanie glowed with pride. Freddie flushed. Carly giggled. Sam, however, didn't do what Melanie expected. For the very first time, there was no flippant, sardonic put-down. For the first time ever in mixed company, Sam Puckett showed her true colors. She wanted the world to finally know. She spoke the truth – in her own way.

"Yeah, well… there are worse things.

Fredward Benson couldn't believe his ears.

"_¿Qué?"_

"Oh shut it, Stub Rag! Welcome to the family…"

They all laughed. Freddie had simply never expected his new sister-in-law to be so forthright. The truth was that he loved her. He had always loved her, just never _That Way_. The fact of the matter was that he knew, deep down, that in one shape, form, or fashion, the three of them would always be together – it was simply pre-destined to be that way. Never in a million years had he thought that his childhood tormentor could ever have a twin. She was the antithesis of Sam – the perfect counterbalance. She was bone of her bone and flesh of her flesh, yet they were so different. It had taken Freddie until this very day – nearly two years after their first official date – to see that the Puckett sisters, for all their differences, truly were the same. They were both the truth – from a certain point of view.

Sam was having a tough time with this. She was happier than she'd ever been, but her mind was a swirling mix of emotions. The inappropriate part of her, which she'd worked so hard to quiet of late, wanted to consummate her union with Carly Shay, right here on the grass, in front of the jungle gym. She knew that she couldn't do that. Good things would come to those who'd wait. She loved her beautiful wife with every single fiber of her being – just as she loved the other two – yet she was upset that Carly would ever give her something as beautiful as what was now encircling her ring finger. This was simply _too much_. It was clearly the only of its kind in the world. Carly had done so much for her over their years together. She knew how Carly had reacted to the trade of her _iCarly_ t-shirt for sold-out Cuttlefish tickets. She did not and could never want another ring, but Sam never believed that she was worthy of this type of treatment. She wasn't anything special. She was a juvenile delinquent. She was a little blonde butch who, somehow, had gotten lucky enough to have the one person she loved most in all the world love her back. She didn't need something this amazingly beautiful, so amazingly meaningful, as the tangible symbol of her partner's love for her.

They had reached the clearing – that imaginary border between the front and rear halves of the park – when they saw. Sitting at the curb, idling gently, were a pair of black town cars. Each of the four of them looked to one another, seeking out the party responsible for this latest unexpected surprise.

It was then that realization hit the Puckett twins before washing over their partners. It was Occam's Razor. The simplest explanation was the correct one. It had been Uncle Carmine.

_**MOMENTS LATER…**_

Sam Puckett was safe now. She could come unglued here, in the back seat of a Lincoln with tinted windows. She was safe and alone, her Cupcake at her side. She knew she was about to cry. She felt her throat constrict. Her eyes burned and felt puffy. She forced it down into the pit of her stomach, playing absentmindedly with the ring Carly had given her not twenty minutes earlier, turning it over and over on her finger, completely in awe of it. She whimpered quietly.

"Sam… honey… if I did something wrong, I…"

The blonde gave in to a fit of impulse, kissing Carly a bit more forcefully than intended on the mouth. She broke the kiss and began babbling.

"Carls… I… Sweety, this is _way too much_. It's this ring. It must have cost you… Oh God, do I even want to know?"

The brunette couldn't help but smile and laugh. This was something she loved about Sam. She wished it didn't have to happen – that Sam was much more self-confident – but it amused the hell out of her and always made her smile. The big, tough butch was nothing but a marshmallow right below the surface.

"Sam… you're making way too much out of this. I did what I did because I love you. _And if you must know, Missy…_ it didn't cost me a dime."

Sam didn't believe her.

"Carls, this is one of a kind… and do you realize…" she paused ever-so-briefly before continuing. "…_Il Mio Cuore, Il Mio Cuore, Il Mio Cuore… _Do you understand what that means, Cupcake? What the words mean?"

Carly Shay flashed her partner a bright smile.

"Of course I do, sweetheart… and it's true, my heart _is_ yours forever… and if it matters, don't keep fussing at me over the ring. I just… your Uncle Carmine _recommended_ a jeweler."

It finally made sense. Sam smiled at her, that slippery, stupid smile she'd fallen in love with years earlier. She was content.

Sam slipped her hand up Carly's dress. Her mind wasn't _there_, but it caused Carly to jump just the same. All Sam wanted to do was play with the little ticklish spot right below Carly's kneecap.

"Sam! We're ten minutes from the apartment… Save _SOMETHING_ for the wedding night…"

Sam was undeterred. Her fingers found the tiny little patch of skin below Carly's knee and set to work. The brunette fell into a giggle fit. To Sam Puckett, life most certainly was good.

_**A SHORT TIME LATER…**_

The door to Carly's loft was wide open, the party already seemingly in full swing when the couples arrived. They simply slipped in the door and joined the party. It was a mess – totally disjointed – but that was to be expected when the party planning fell to Seattle's most eccentric sculptor.

Spencer and Missus Benson were overseeing the controlled chaos. Roger Morgan and his wife were chatting pleasantly with Franklin and his wife. Gibby and Tasha were making small talk with Shelby Marx while her new girlfriend swooned over little Guppy.

"_Shelby_…. I _want_ one of him…. He's the cutest little thing!"

The fighter just rolled her eyes, returning to her conversation with the couple.

"See what I have to deal with here?"

The four slipped in, hoping to go unnoticed. This party was in celebration of all of them, sure, but it felt… almost abnormal. Carly felt as though she was a stranger in her childhood home. It felt as though she were watching some eerie, slow motion movie. She thought of _Ghost_, before he realized that people could not see or hear him.

That all changed soon enough. The minute all four of them entered plain view, the apartment, now filled to bursting, erupted in cheers, applause, and congratulations.

Carly had no idea how Spencer – seemingly with no help – had managed all of this. There was food all over the kitchen, gifts lining the stairs, and T-Bo was tucked away into the corner, where the living room gave way to the hallway leading to Spencer's bedroom, acting as an impromptu DJ. He had a great many talents. He was eager to show that his skills weren't limited to pairing smoothies with pickles.

Carly scanned the room, all the while clutching Sam's hand in hers. There were a number of warm faces – friends from years ago, classmates, _iCarly_ acquaintances. She felt at home, truly at home – until Sam dropped her hand, as though it'd been burned.

She was scared. Sam's reaction scared her, but her voice made her want to laugh. She loved her more than the world, but she was afraid that things were about to get fighty. She thought things had the potential to get _real_ fighty. It could get real fighty, real fast. Carly spoke in something of a sidelong whisper, hoping that her wife would see the light – that she would _'come to Jesus'_ long enough to see that this moment – this celebration of their life together – was no place for airing their grievances, however substantial.

"What in Gay Hell are _they_ doing here?"

Carly looked in the direction of her sofa, which now held Gibby, Tasha, Guppy, Wendy, and Shelby Marx quite tightly. She wanted to play it off as though it were nothing.

"Hun, didn't you see her today? She's dating Wendy now… don't ask me how, but they sort of make sense, don't you think?"

"Yeah, nothing says lovin' like a Russian chick's slap-happy jaw.. Not _her_, Cupcake… _over there…_"

Sam pointed to the far corner of the room, near Spencer's Bottle Bot. Carly recognized the tall woman from behind easily – a very cleaned-up Pam Puckett.

"You invited her, Sweetpea…"

Sam was tired of Carly not seeing what was right in front of her face.

"No! Not her…"

Pam's weight shifted slightly, allowing Carly to finally see who she had been talking to. This man was slight, weathered, and softer. It took her a moment before it registered in her brain. She had barely recognized him. It was her father, Colonel Steven Shay.

Carly felt weak in the knees and the breath left her body, almost as though she were choking. She sank into Sam, who held her tightly around the waist.

"Easy, Cupcake… There's a reason for this… don't get all… even though I want to kill him… It'll all be okay, Sweetheart… Mama's right here…"

Carly felt herself begin to hyperventilate, but only for an instant. Sam's presence was all she needed. She was even more terrified once That Man began walking across the room towards them.

Sam's eyes darted, instinctively, to the sofa. Shelby Marx caught her gaze. They said all that needed saying with a simple, intense, stone-cold stare. The question Sam's eyes seemed to send was _'If this thing goes down, have you got my back?'_ Shelby Marx was a lot of things, but she wasn't petty. Sam Puckett had won the war for Carly Shay, even though Shelby had never challenged Sam's authority. They butted heads, but Shelby Marx would always hold Sam in great esteem. If this was on, Shelby and Sam would quash it in a heartbeat.

Before Steven Shay could cross the room, Sam whispered into her wife's ear.

"Go be with Wendy and Shelby. Mama's got this…"

Carly, ever Sam's dutiful better half, complied without so much as a questioning glance.

Steven Shay crossed the room with Pam Puckett. They'd obviously gotten to be quite friendly. Never before in all the intervening years had it happened – only now. This made Sam nervous. She met Carly's father and they locked eyes. They were only inches apart, staring each other down.

Sam's tone was steely and measured, ice cold. He hadn't earned otherwise.

"What do _you_ want, Old Man?"

Pam, being the only one in the room who knew Steven Shay's intentions, spoke up.

"Samantha, please… Don't cause a scene…"

"_Me_ cause a scene? You weren't here the last time! Mom, just… go suck up to your new son-in-law… Let the two of us talk… Man to… whatever the hell he thinks he is!"

For the first time in her adult life, Pam Puckett had no more fight in her. It had been gone for some time now. She quietly excused herself, her hand too far up Colonel Shay's arm for Sam's liking.

Colonel Shay locked eyes with Sam. There was none of the intensity there that Sam remembered.

"I suppose I deserved that… and likely quite a bit more…"

He paused, gently putting his hand on Sam's shoulder. She slapped it away.

"_Don't you touch me..."_

"Samantha…"

"It's Sam… always has been…"

"Sam… just hear me out, please…"

"Last time you said that, Carly was so sick, she… _nevermind_… You've got two minutes…"

Colonel Shay gestured that they speak somewhere secluded, despite all the commotion. Grudgingly, she conceded. They crossed the room, settling into the far corner. He spoke, then she. They nodded. He shook his head, somewhat reluctantly. He handed her an envelope. She tucked it securely into her interior suit jacket pocket. He reached into his front jacket pocket and passed her something small. She pocketed it in turn.

The party was interrupted by an electrical pop, and then the amplified sound of a very familiar voice.

"Hey there, Party People!"

Sam thought her sister was a complete idiot.

"I might be being a little bit presumptuous, but I want to thank all of you for coming… for me and Freddie… and Carly and Sam..."

It took everything Sam had not to groan. Carly was by her side once again, pulling her towards Mel and Freddie. Melanie kept talking.

Not paying attention to her sister, Sam ran to Carly, showing her everything that the Colonel had just given her. Carly opened the envelope from Sam's jacket and nearly fainted. The small disk from Sam's pocket, however explained everything – put it all into context. The Colonel had given Sam his thirty-day chip, signifying complete and absolute sobriety and clarity for the longest stretch Carly could ever remember. He, like Pam, had finally admitted that he was powerless against addiction and had given himself over to a Higher Power, vowing to make amends with those he had hurt while under the influence of his own demons. The Colonel had given them a peace offering. It was excessive, even considering how gravely he had hurt his only daughter. Steven Shay had taken all he could from the United States military. It was time for him to ride off into the proverbial sunset. He had also come to the conclusion that the Emerald City was no longer the best place for him to spend the bulk of his time. If he couldn't enjoy a home he had intended to share with his late wife in their twilight years, perhaps his only daughter could make it her home once again?

Once her mind had finished processing the enormity of what had just transpired, Sam realized that her pretty, pretty princess of a sister was still bumping her gums.

"I know it's not traditional for a bride to _give gifts_ at a reception, but, hey, if you haven't noticed, we Pucketts aren't conventional. Carly… Sam… This is my gift to you guys… May you both have years of happiness together. I love you both so much…"

Melanie turned to T-Bo and smiled. The music started playing. It was instantly recognizable.

"…_We are family…"  
"…I got all my sisters with me…."  
__"…We are family…"  
"…Get up everybody and sing…"_

_"…Everyone can see we're together…"_  
_"…As we walk on by…"_  
_"…and we fly just like birds of a feather…"_  
_"…I won't tell no lie…"_  
_"…all of the people around us they say…"_  
_"…Can they be that close…"_  
_"…Just let me state for the record…"_  
_"…We're giving love in a family dose!"_

Melanie threw her hip playfully into Sam, now standing by her side, Sam's arm around Carly's shoulders. Freddie cozied up to his little diva. They were having the time of their lives. They _were_ family. They were together. They were all happy. It was the beginning of something magical.

_###_


End file.
